Random Thoughts

From A Distance

Dedicated to Lucky Charm

I realised I was stupid
Stupid for taking you for granted
Stupid for thinking that I would have all the time in the world to love you
Stupid for not taking every chance I had to show you how much I loved you

Now I watch you smile and go through your days
Unable to express my love for you
Unable to tell you how my heart flutters when you smile
How your touch makes my heart stop
How your laughter brightens my darkest days
How even the thought of you inspires me

I see the frown on your bad days
How you curl your fists up in anger
How you lower your head in sadness
How you stare out a window in deep thought, your beautiful eyes reflecting the sorrows you feel
How you have so much emotions that you don't know how to express it

Honestly, it breaks my heart
It hurts my soul
Knowing I was capable of making you smile through the darkness
Knowing you used to seek comfort in my arms
Knowing that you always said having me in your arms made things better
Maybe I'm still cable of it,
Many people say I understand you on a deeper level
But I'm scared
Not knowing if you want my comfort
Or my love
Scared that you will push me away when all I want is to love and comfort you

Instead, I help from a distance
I do small things in hopes of making you smile
Hoping you don't notice that it's me

Instead, I support you in times of trouble
In times of hardship
I listen to your amazing and amusing stories
Because I know it's what you love; when people listen

I love how when you speak
Your eyes glow with passion
Your smile gets brighter with every wod
I love how when you speak
You stare into my eyes
And it's if our souls speak

Honestly, it hurts knowing I can never show you I love you
So instead,
For now,
I'll love you from a distance

-K