Light Guardian

Chapter 12

I awoke to the worried face of Rhea hovering above me. She looked tired and her fur was unkempt. When she saw my open eyes, she gave a gentle smile, "You've been out for some time now. I'm not surprised though, you spent a lot of your energy fighting them off. Don't worry, there were no deaths. Some were close to dying, including you, but no one fell into an endless sleep." She paused before adding, "I was worried about you, we were all worried about you."

    My eyes slowly blinked, and I rasped, "How long was I out?" My throat hurt and my body felt heavy. I just wanted to go back to sleep.

    Her soothing voice filled my ears, "You were out for over seven days." I jerked up at that, looking at the pale tabby with wide eyes. She instantly goes to comfort me, "Don't worry about it! You were able to rid the camp of the shadows."

    The shadows. Those beasts that are filled with unspeakable evil. A scowl covered my face. Taking that as a time to leave, she slowly backed away from me, "I'll go alert Amos that you are awake, but I'll tell him you need some time alone before he can come and see you." She paused, before adding, "It'll be okay, it'll be over eventually..." And with that she hurried out of the den, leaving me on my own.

    When she was out of sight, I forced myself to get up. Guilt was eating away at me, making me wince. I caused some wolves to almost die. I caused the suffering this pack had undergone. It was all my fault. All my fault.

    A sudden thought struck me, and it was tempting. I could run away, fight this battle on my own. I didn't have to get my friends involved, I didn't need to get this pack involved. I could prove myself, redeem this terrible event by fixing it by myself. I could prove myself, I could make my family proud.

    Fierce perseverance filled me and I looked around the den. My ears stretched to listen to the others outside of the den, hearing only the soft chatter of wolves slowly fading. It was soon quiet, not even a whisper filling the air. The light that flooded into the den was dimming, signaling that the sun was slowly closing its eye. I could leave so easily. There was an emergency exit in this den, I noticed it when Owl showed us around. It would be so easy. I could run. I could redeem myself. No one else needed to get hurt.

    Making the rash decision, I pushed myself to the exit and sniffed it. No scents stained it, no one had gone through it in a while. Apprehension filled me for a split second. Would my friends feel betrayed? Will they hate me for leaving them? No, they would understand, they would have to understand. Wouldn't they?

    I dove through the emergency exit, my paws thundering on the ground. "Varian, don't you dare leave!" Nakoma's screech filled my ears, her voice echoing in the wind. But with fear and guilt fueling my paws, I ran. Away from the pack that was meant to protect me, away from the place I would train. Away from the friends I have made. Away, away, away.

    I had no idea where I was going, there was nothing to guide me as I ran. The wind whipped at my face and my heart thumped erratically. I was scared. I hadn't been alone for a while, and I had gotten used to the company of others. Once more I would not hear the breaths of another, I will not hear the gentle snores that Amos has in his sleep. I wouldn't hear Rhea's light laugh, or pups playing in the clearing.

    Everything felt like it was weighing me down, pushing me into the ground that I ran on. Debris sprung behind my paws, and pebbles scratched my pads. The sudden feeling of regret seeped into me as I continued to run away. I was wrong. They would hate me. Of course they would hate me. Rhea would glare at me, Amos would never trust me again, Clarisse would sneer in my face. Nakoma, oh Nakoma. I had disappointed her. I wished that she would speak in my ear again, yell at the idiotic mistake that I have made, convince me to run back. I wanted to turn back, but I couldn't. I couldn't deal with the looks they would give me, and I couldn't deal with the guilt that still ate me away. I couldn't, I just couldn't.