Light Guardian

Chapter 17

The familiar feeling of heaviness and utter exhaustion was weighing down on me as I slowly regained consciousness. I let out a small groan, and immediately paws were assessing my side, and I heard the foggy whispers of others around me. My muscles screamed at me as I shifted my weight, and immediately I felt Rhea's familiar fur brushing against me as she curled around me. Her tail soothingly brushing over my side.

    I forced my eyes to open and I furiously blinked away the darkness. My head was pounding and dehydrated coughs spewed from my mouth. A ball of soaking wet moss was placed in front of my muzzle, and I greedily lapped at the dripping water. Only then did I realize how sore my throat felt.

    Finally, the muffled whispers around me cleared up, and I could understand them. Clarisse's warm voice was the first to meet my ears, "Varian, Varian can you hear me?" Worry was laced in her voice, and I forced myself to look up at the pink wolf. Her wings were ruffled and her fur was unkempt. I gave her a tired nod, before looking around. Zohar was at the entrance to the den, his face stoic, stress hanging under his yellow eyes. Nakoma was near him, her face void of emotion. Amos stood next to Rhea, his short fur unkempt and messy. The small tom's face was stained from crying. Next to him, was the little pup that I befriended. Ice looked miserable, her usually bright blue eyes dull. She looked hopeless, and I wanted to rush over to her and tell her that everything would be alright, comfort the young pup. My gaze finally swept over Rhea, and I couldn't help but cry. The pale she-cat was silently crying in my fur, looking as miserable as Ice. She was mumbling, "Varian, I'm so glad you are okay. I'm so glad you are okay..."

    It felt like a blow to my heart, as I looked at all of them. They all cared. A question bubbled up inside of me, and it blurted out, "What happened when I passed out?"

    They all looked around hesitantly, and Zohar came forward. Only then did I see the faint trace of worry on his face. The long-tailed wolf began, "When you passed out, the shadows died. They all disappeared. However, King's allies, or as we understand now, Sage's allies, did not run. They stayed and continued to fight. More wolves died, but we defeated them. Barely. Many had ended up fleeing like the cowards they are, while others stayed and fought to the death."

    He looked at me closely, "Blood was spilled, and many lives were brutally lost. You are the last of the survivors to be healing. Most of the others are already close to getting back on to their paws." Zohar must have seen the question I wanted to ask, as he added, "You were out for what Nakoma calls two months." The spirit wolf had been teaching me about the way she tells time, so I understood just how long that was. I jerked back and looked around at my friends with wide eyes.

    They all stayed quiet, allowing me to process what I just found out. Suddenly King's last words rang violently in my head, "I am sorry, my kin."

    I turned to Nakoma, "What did King mean by calling me his kin?"

    The dark brown wolf stayed silent for a moment. Her tail swished back and forth before she spoke, "King's real name was Dull. He told me that when I was collecting the souls after the battle. His mother was named Willow, and his father Dusk. His parents are your parents. Dull is your eldest sibling and your only brother."

    Shock coursed through me at her words. I was related to the cat I had feared while I trained. I was related to the cat that I killed in the heat of battle. Suddenly I remembered that King, that Dull, called Amos his son. Amos... Amos was my kin as well.

    My head whipped towards the small tom, and his eyes were wide with shock. A fierce feeling of protectiveness bubbled up in my heart and I knew I would watch over him. I was so glad that I had gotten to know the tom and actually become his friend. I was so relieved that I had saved him and Rhea that day.

    Warmth filled his eyes and relief caused him to relax his tense shoulders. A timid smile rose on my muzzle, now he knows that he still has family that cares for him, blood family. Now he doesn't need to feel alone. A weight that had been weighing me down lifted off of my shoulders. I could say the same for me.

    Turning back to Nakoma, I whispered, "What did he mean by saying that he was sorry?" My mind flashed back to the lifeless eyes that were sunken into his face. Maybe, just maybe he didn't choose his path after all.

    A sad huff came from the large wolf, and she explained, "Dull told me of the shadows, the whispers that taunted him as a kitten. He had always feared them, feared their whispers, their touches, and their calls. But he was driven away from his parents, from your parents. Willow thought he was insane, planning against them. In fear, she exiled him at an early age. An earlier age than you were."

    It felt like a heavy stone had built up in my chest at her words. She continued, her voice becoming more somber with every word she spoke, "He was terrified, and the shadows began to call him more urgently. He had no one to protect him, which is why he fell into their grasps. He feared to be alone and he feared the shadows. As he grew up, the fear that he had for the shadows just continued to grow. He would see what they would do to those that disobeyed them, and soon he met Sage. She tried to train him, force him to see why the light needed to be destroyed. Your brother began to resist at this point, trying to escape from the monsters that had plagued his entire life. But alas, he was brainwashed by Sage. Shadows were bound to him, causing him to lose all control of his body. During this time he built up enemies, and became a puppet to Sage and her shadows."

    Nakoma began to pace slightly, her voice wavering, "He loved you like the brother he was. When he heard that his parents had two daughters, he wanted to protect you. Save you from the shadows. But he had no control and was devastated when he realized that Sage had sent shadows to infect your camp, devastated to find out that they wanted to kill you. And Amos, he said that he loved you and your mother. He... He hates himself for not gaining control and saving her, saving you from the traumatic event you witnessed. And Varian, every time he had to fight you, taunt you, do anything but love you Dull fought with everything he had. He... He wouldn't have died during the fight as easily as he did. That is what he told me. He was distracting the shadows, fighting for control. And when they were distracted and you got the fatal blow, he was given the control he had wanted since he was a mere kitten, since he found out he had siblings to love."

    Water cascaded from my eyes as I cried. I cried for the brother I never knew, for the father Amos had lost, and for the cat that never truly lived. Sobs racked my body, and I felt Amos race over to me, water spilling out of his green eyes too. He cried softly into my side.

    Extreme guilt flooded over me. I killed his father. I killed my brother. Sobbing I cried, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." The words kept stumbling out of my mouth and Rhea, who had calmed down now, began to whisper soothing words to me and Amos. Her voice soft like a feather, gracing my ears.

    "Shhh... It's okay, you didn't know. You could never have known... He's free now, you freed him. Shhh... It's okay..."

    This continued until my sobs had calmed down, and Amos had stopped crying. Sniffles erupted from the two of us, but there was one more question I needed to ask. Hesitantly, I asked, "Who... Who died?"

    Ice's shrill voice cried and Clarisse quickly began to soothe the black pup. Dread filled me, but I turned to Zohar. I had to find out. I needed to know.

    The brown wolf with his soul in a glass lantern that dangled from his neck looked back at me. Soon, he spoke. "We lost many of our own..." He paused, getting caught up in his own words. "Owl. Stick. Hail. Rose. Moon. Sparrow. Flower. Thorn. Odin. Timber. Boulder. Echo. Crystal." He paused once more and took a deep breath. His voice held sorrow as he kept going, "Ivory. Eclipse. Pyro. Summit. And Skye."

    I began to tremble as the awful feeling of grief kept growing and growing. So many lives, so many good wolves. Realization struck me as I realized something. Ice. Ice lost all of her kin in this fight, she has no one. My body screamed at me as I rose to my paws and ran to the crying pup. Her black fur dirty and matted. Rhea gasped at my sudden movement and Zohar tried to command me to sit down. Water ran down my face, and I let out a sob. "I'll take care of you, I promise."

    Everyone around me was silent, as we cried. The aura of mourning filled the air. The battle was over, for now. But at what cost?