weak (jenzie.)

six

brynn

i sat in my bedroom alone, not moving a single limb.

i liked being alone. people say it's weird, but it's just what i preferred. that's probably why i don't have friends either.

anyway, i was just casually sitting there when suddenly, my room became a forest. letting my curiosity get the best of me, i got up and walked around, touching every tree in sight.

with every tree i touched, it turned black and disappeared. suddenly, a black cloud surrounded me. i attempted to run but it grabs me and fills my mouth.

"stop! please, let go! please! stop!", i scream at the top of my lungs

my door bursts open and the force drops me. i sit on my knees, crying and an arm wraps around me.

my mother.

"it's gonna be alright", she rubs my back to soothe me.

"it-it took m-me", i stutter

she shakes her head. "brynn, you know nothing is really there"

i look at her in disbelief. "but i j-just saw it"

suddenly, i see a little girl as pale as a ghost, with long black hair and a white dress in the corner of my room.

"mom!", i scream pointing to the girl as she nears me. "it's coming"

"brynn", my mother says calmly as i move closer to her. "it's gonna be alright"

i wish i could believe her. i really do. but she doesn't know the things i see or hear. she'll never understand my struggle.

-

i sit on my bed clutching my covers in fear.

the voices are back again.

i hear a little girl screaming for help mixed with the deep belly laughs of a woman and a grown man screaming as well.

i shake my head repetitively as i mumble the word "stop".

they only got louder.

my door opens once again and the voices cease. my little sister sadie walks in with a smile on her face. she pushes over my covers to sit by me.

"why are you here?" i ask as i readjust my covers and sadie rolls her eyes at my actions.

"ocd much," she says

i shot her a look. "you know i have ocd you dipshit. and again, why are you even here"

"no reason actually", she shrugs

"sadie get the-" i start to yell but she interrupts me

"is google male or female?" she asks

"don't know, don't care", i start fixing the pile of books on my bedside table

"it's female because it doesn't let you finish your sentence before making a suggestion", she laughed while i rolled my eyes.

"why was the teenager's report card wet?" she asks again. i shrug realizing she wasn't giving up. "because it was below sea level"

i look at her with a blank expression on my face. if you couldn't tell, i have no sense of humor whatsoever. i haven't even laughed for a really long time.

my mother says it's a symptom of schizophrenia, which she thinks i have. however, i disagree for various reasons

"what do teens use for birth control?", she continues without waiting for my response. "their personalities"

apparently, that was so hilarious that she fell off of my bed and cracked up laughing.

i rolled my eyes again since she dropped my phone which was innocently resting on my bed, pushed my chair that was located by my bedside table, and she messed up my covers once again.

"sadie get the hell out of my room!" i screamed as i got up to fix everything.

"fine", she groaned and walked out of my room.

"thank god", i mumbled when she left.

once i was done, i sat back on my bed and the voices returned. but this time, they were speaking to me.

"you ugly hoe. you don't deserve to live", one said

"you're a worthless piece of shit," another said

"you're a fat slutty bitch", the last one said

"die. die. die", they all chanted together

the voices echoed in my head as tears streamed down my cheeks

stay strong brynn. i thought

"stay strong? bitch you're weaker than a fucking feather"

don't do it. i thought again

"yes do it. go kill yourself. no one actually cares about you"

"stop please", i spoke in a hushed tone

"bitch. do you think we actually give a fuck?"

"i'm begging you, please", more tears streamed down my face

"not until you kill yourself"

"b-but i can't do it," i said

"if you kill yourself, you'll no longer deal with us"

"okay", i replied knowing that this was the only option

i got up from my bed and walked to my kitchen.

grabbing a butcher knife, the biggest knife i could find, i aimed it towards my heart and even more, tears streamed down my face.

i was finally going to do this.

my hand shook as i moved it closer to my body.

"it's gonna be alright brynn", i whispered to myself

the instant it touched my chest, my heartbeat sped up.

"brynn!", my mother screamed causing me to drop the knife. "what the hell is wrong with you"

"i'm so sorry mom", i ran to her and hugged her as i sobbed into her chest. "i had to do it", i sobbed.

she stroked my hair. "it's gonna be alright", she whispered in my ear.

i really hope it will be.

-

author's note:

hey guys. first, i want to thank you guys for over 1.2 thousand views. seeing that makes me really happy as an author. i hope you guys like this chapter, it's my shortest one so far. sorry :( but at least no one ended up unconscious this chapter. i realized that's how almost every chapter but brynn's and johnny's ended. also, sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes.

-via xo