Love Contract - A Love Sick fan fic

Trust, Guilt and Forgiveness

Warning... Mature Content ahead (Sorry. Sometimes I forget to put this because not everyone is keen on the smut.)

Pete stared at the door he needed to walk though and wondered again why he didn't just keep walking. The image of Earn before his eyes was his answer but it was hard, so fucking hard, to face that love with all this guilt.

I've never been with anyone but Earn. I've never wanted anyone else once I choose him. I never even thought of or looked at anyone other than him. Not even Yu. Once I committed to Earn, i committed all the way. So why did this have to happen? How do I trust myself with anyone else when I'm vulnerable? How do I trust myself at all?

He sighed and took one step forward then another. It was so easy to walk up to the door and so damn hard to open it.

He slipped inside and heard the mummer of Earn's voice. It soothed the tattered edges of his soul and made him relax a bit. Then Earn was coming out of the room and he smiled at Pete with such openness.

"I got the ingredients for meatball soup." Pete said with his own answering smile. It was  one of earn's favorites.

"Hummm you know what I love and I love your meatball soup."

Pete had to smile. He had learned to make it since FC. It was an indo dish and Earn had loved it when he went there to see some relatives. He had described the soup for Pete who wanted to try it in the end and decided to make it for his lover. It was a special dish because he had made it the very day they had made love for the first time. 

Pete stood in the kitchen and thought about that day. He had been cooking and Earn had come out behind him with that sweet smile of his...

                                                                                      ***

"What are you doing?"

"I got a recipe for that soup you like. I'm going to try and make it." Pete looked over his shoulder and watched everything about Earn light up with excitement and happiness. He turned Pate around and pulled him close.

"I love that your doing this. Thank you so much."

"Well I want to and anyway, I'm always making shrimp so this is a nice change."

"Your always making shrimp?" Earn mock frowned and started tickling Pete. "I cooked the last two times, thank you very much." He sneered as Pete jerked and struggled to get away.

Giggle, giggle. "It tasted great. I swear!" He screeched out before he broke down laughing. 

That's when Earn had laughed too and kissed Pete. The first time he had cooked had been a disaster. That was ok though. The second time had been perfection.

He had said as much right then to Pete and Pete had understood. 

                                                                                        ***

"Sometimes I have to get it wrong to get it right." Pete muttered the words Earn had said that day exactly. 

"Humm. And are you taking that lesson to heart?" Earn asked suddenly, startling Pete and causing him to stiffen. Earn ignored that and wrapped his arms around Pete, resting his chin on Pete's shoulder.

"Are you going to answer?"

"I'm... I'm trying." He stuttered out and and felt more than he saw the frown. 

"That's not good enough." Earn sucked in a breath and made up his mind. "Do you even really love me at this point Pete?"

The question stunned Pete and actually made him angry. He turned forcefully, causing Earn to step back.