Replay

November 30, 2011

Sam skipped class with me today. We skipped Physics. It was our last period anyway. We went to the lake by the park. Sam took out his frustration through throwing rocks aggressively into the lake. I threw some too but soon gave up and told him I'm just gonna sit down under the tree.

"Okay," he nodded, throwing a pebble so hard it reached the other end of the lake.

I sat down, plugged in the earphones and started plucking out the grass around me.

▶

You always said the most random things. One time, you were going through this magazine in Blue's. Mary was with you. I was serving the table next to yours when suddenly you said, "A stick isn't beautiful."

"What?" Mary replied.

You pulled out a toothpick. "This is not beautiful. It's all stick-y. Very normal and unextraodinary."

"Alright," Mary raised her eyebrow.

"I'll tell you what's beautiful. Flowers, sunsets - hell, donuts are beautiful. The moon is beautiful."

"Are you drunk?" Mary asked, checking you glass.

"No. I'm just saying something. Where was I? Right, the moon. Big and round and yet people like that aren't regarded as beautiful as well."

I shook my head, walking away from the table I was serving. You may have said the most random things at the most random moments but they still had this deeper meaning to them and damn it all, I loved that.

When I came back with the other table's order, you were pointing at the magazine.

"Don't get me wrong, they're still beautiful. But this," you gestured to some model, "is not the only kind of beautiful out there."

"Mhm," Mary nodded. I could tell she was baffled and amazed by you too.

I turned back to the customer I was serving and asked if they still wanted anything else. The old man winked and said, "I see how you look at her, son. Make a move."

The pen almost fell from my hand when he said that. I just nodded and walked away, completely confused.

"Pete!" Mary called. I went to your table.

"Hello, wanna order?" I asked, pen raised.

"No, can you take my place for a second? Alice just completely fucked up my mind and I need to go wee," she said.

"Uh, sure?" I said.

She left after saying thanks and I turned to you, a smirk on your face. I did a double take.

"Are you alright?" I asked, and your smirk faded.

"What do you mean?" you didn't meet my eyes.

"Nothing, you just look pale - or paler than usual. You've got really dark circles under your eyes it's almost as if -" I paused.

"As if what, Peter?"

"As if you're not sleeping and you're turning into an insomniac like I did," I continued.

You chuckled but it lacked humor. "Look at you, Mr. Observant. I've rubbed off on you."

You took a sip of you coffee and looked back at me. I've seen that look before - that I don't want to be mean but this isn't really your business look. So I smiled and asked you what you were saying to Mary. You smiled back and looked (or I think you looked) relieved.