Ruin

Ruin - 6.0

I imagine Dylan to be played by Dylan O'Brien because Dylan O'Brien is perfection ok. 

(unedited)

Enjoy.

- the Don't Stop EP sounds too perfect I'm gonna cry

♔

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I was thinking, but I wasn't really sure what I was thinking about. My thoughts sort of just... wondered.

I think, at first, I was thinking about my parents. My mom and dad. That was something I've avoided thinking about for a while. God, it's been so long since anyone's mentioned them. It was almost like they didn't exist at all... but they did exist. They were very much alive once upon a time. That time felt like centuries ago.

Then I heard that familiar, earsplitting scream in my head, and I had to close my eyes, trying to push away the thought.

I was walking, walking without any real sense of direction, unconscious of where I was going. It's funny, actually, because I don't think I've had a sense of direction for a while. For so many years, I knew I was living and breathing, but I didn't feel like I was truly alive. It was like my body was functioning as perfectly as any other person, but my soul was numb. And without a soul, there really is no life in you, is there? 

All you feel is emptiness when your soul has been numb for years. People really no idea what it's like.

"Ellie?"

I was suddenly yanked out of my own little world of thoughts. To my left, Vic looked at me with a concerned expression, and I realized I had zoned out as we were walking and had ignored everything she said.

"Are you okay?" she asked as she searched my eyes. Her eyebrows were knitted together as she concentrated on staring me down. I looked away, trying to avoid her gaze.

"Don't look so concerned, Vic. I'm fine." I said without much emotion.

I began walking again, and she followed. We were making our way into the parking lot of the mall. Vic had just bought whatever dress that she needed for whatever important dinner she needed to attend. At least she had some kind of motivation in her life. I hadn't had anything to look forward to in a long time.

"Where are you going? The car's this way."  Vic called me back as I began to walk along the concrete pathway made for pedestrians.

"I'm gonna walk home." I told her. She looked like she wanted to object and insist that she take me home herself, but to my relief, she nodded reluctantly after a few seconds.

I watched as she made her way to her car, her heels clonking steadily as she walked. I waited until she started her car, pulled out of the parking space, and drove out the exit of the mall. Then, I actually began walking.

I know I told Vic that I'd be walking home, but I really had no intention of going home just yet. The last thing I needed was to see Mrs. Beverly and have her give me hateful looks or occasionally shoot venomous glares in my direction.

I don't think I wanted to go anywhere. I think I was just walking to be walking.

But I was angry. I felt angry at everything. I saw an innocent little stray dog passing by and scowled at it. My eyebrows pulled together in frustration, and I felt like I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. The odd thing was that I didn't even know why I was feeling so upset. Maybe it was because someone mentioned my parents. Maybe it was because I realized Luke was just another good for nothing rich kid. I didn't know. I was just angry.