A Diamond In The Rough

Ruins

"Really this is a good thing Diamond, we can track your seizures we can really try to help you...."
I zoned out, his words meaningless to me. My life revolved around doctors saying meaningless words. My parents fed on it.

They lived in a separate world and I walked mine alone, I'd tried to give my situation some options to work through. Makes myself feel better.

"Your life isn't over Diamond, it's just the beginning" the Doctor smiled reassuringly over the desk, trying to assure me everything would change. Like I'd wake up and it had all been an outer body experience.

I scoff leaning back in my chair folding my arms, my mother shot me a glare her lips turning into a straight line. She clutched her bag tighter to her,
"Thank you doctor we'll be here Friday"
Wait what.
"Why will be here Friday? I'm not due to see you for another six months"

My mother gave me a look, "Well if you had been listening you'd know we're doing a thirty day treatment"
I laughed, "I'm not coming, I'm not being treated like a science experiment and there is no 'we' it's a me"

She gripped my arm with a tight smile, "we'll be here at nine a.m, sharp"
I stood up gripping my dogs lead making an exit.

My life really had become a whirlwind and I felt I was drowning in my own pity. And others. I wasn't normal and I wanted to be, so so badly.

Making sharp turns towards the exit I could here the click of my mother's heels along the corridor. She caught up to me and gave me 'the look'. Every child knows the look. It's the look of when we get out of here you're in for it.

"I'll sit in the car" i outstretched my hand for the keys, which were dropped into mine after a brief second. The cold air hit me sharply and I felt the chill run up my spine, giving me uncalled for twitches and spasms across my muscles. I pushed the key into the lock and opened the back door to allow Luna, my assistant dog in before me.

She lay her head on my lap and I sighed leaning my head back into the headrest running my fingers over her fur.

My mother opened the door and I slipped the keys back into her reaching hand, she looked at me in the dash mirror.

"You know that was uncalled for, Diamond" she turned the car on, "All anyone wants to do is help you and get you on track for where you need to be"
"But it never works. I get more angry and frustrated and you guys get upset and call me ungrateful"
It's not fair. I didn't want to do this anymore, I wanted to be a real person not someone confined to a hospital ward for the rest of their existence.

"Fine I'll make a deal" She was pulling up closer to a cafe, somewhere we'd usually stop after an appointment
"What deal?" I side glanced her, pulling some of my attention of the passing traffic.

"If it doesn't work this time, we won't do another stay"

She stopped the car in a space looking at me trying to see what the effects of her words were on me.
"Promise?" I looked over her hopeful that for once she was taking into consideration my feelings and not just hers.

"I promise, but you have to try and work with them Diamond not half it"
I blew air out my nose. Debating over my options.
Go once more, try my best, never have to see that ward or the doctors again. Or not try at all and go back every year. At least three times. To do multiple stays, blood tests, scans. The list was endless.

"Fine, you've got a deal"