Details in the Fabric (Scomiche)

Pt 1. Everything Will Be Fine

AN I hope the song lyrics are obvious and don't detract. Sorry if its a mess 

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3 months… 1 week… 2 days… 6 hours and 23 minutes ….

He rarely slept anymore. When he did it was fitful and unsettled. He kept the curtains tightly closed, barely allowing any light to filter into his now unkempt room. Why bother cleaning? There was no one to see it anyway.

His new philosophy – Why bother?

Why bother setting his alarm clock anymore? It’s not like he had anything to look forward to anyway.

Every day when he would wake he would keep his eyes shut, praying something had changed. Maybe it had all been a horrible nightmare and he’d wake up and everything would be ok. Even knowing things wouldn’t change, he still refused to open his eyes until he searched for any contact… a touch… warmth… the subtle sound of another's breath…

But… no.

He’d finally open them and find himself alone, his bed empty and cold and the aching in his chest would begin again, his heart thudding dully .

And another day begins...

.

Calm down

Deep breaths

And get yourself dressed instead

Of running around

And pulling on your threads and

Breaking yourself up

.

He lay there letting minutes pass before his feet hit the floor, heavy and weighted. Every morning it seemed to get just a bit darker in the small room, but then again he liked it that way. The sound of the city outside, the light peeking in from behind the heavy curtains called to him… reminding him of precious memories that both filled him with love and ripped him apart in agony.

He slipped a long finger between the glass and the fabric… peeling it back and peeking behind. He winced at the sudden rush of light to his dilated eyes, but eventually they adjusted and he looked out onto the world below. Living 20 stories up can give quite the stunning view of the city, but it made him feel that much further away from everything and everyone. He felt distant, cut off from the rest of the world and trapped in a place that hadn’t even been his to begin with.

Why did he stay?

You know why…

Because he needed the connection, if only fleeting.

Being here still meant he had some small piece of him, somehow. A part of the other man still remained, lived in every nook and cranny…his laughter echoing in his ears when all was quiet as if preserved by the walls themselves. He was everywhere and it made it harder to let go and easier to just exist.

Of course everything was different now. The curtains were now khaki and plain, the furniture was now black and solid, the walls bare, brown and boring. It was all so different… SO different than it had been when he had lived there.

…then again everything was different now that he was gone.

.

If it's a broken part, replace it