Darkness

darkness #2

She didn't feel good. Hear pulse was racing, her head was pounding, she felt like she was going to throw up. She was remembering. She was frantically searching for a way out of her own head. It always ended up reminding her of the things she wished she could forget. The things that had happened to her in the past still haunted her to this day. She hated the reminder of how weak she use to be. It made her sick how easily she had been taken advantage of at the age of eight. She was ashamed about not being able to fight back.

She was reminded by the simplest thing, a hand accidentally brushing her thigh in the crowded hallways in her high school. That simple action had sent her mind into an instinctual panic. Her eyes had started to shift out of focus, her legs were shaking trying to keep up the weight of her shaking body. The people around her started crowding around, their faces swimming in and out of her vision.

She was suddenly on the floor, not remember how she had gotten to the cool tiles. There were other students yelling and running to get help, but to her it all sounded far away. The only thing she could hear was her rapid heartbeat and labored breathing. All the students around her saw that the strong girl, who had been able to fight her way onto the football team as a linebacker, break. They saw someone who was usually strong, someone who usually had a glare painted on her face, someone who you'd cross the street just to avoid, suddenly fall apart into a whimpering mess on the floor. They truly had no idea what to do.

One her only friend pushes his way to the front. All he sees is his best friend in pain. He knows the signs. He realizes that a panic attack is destroying the walls she's built up over the years. He's on his knees beside her now. Reaching out to wrap an arm around her shoulder as he yells at everyone to get back to what they were doing before. No one wanting to disobey the angry Quarterback they all rush to get to their classes that would start in meerly moments.

She doesn't understand what's happening, everything's a blur. As the crowd fully disbursed, sound finally starts to drift through the panic encasing her mind. It's the soothing sound of her best friends voice. She knew she could trust that voice. That voice would never let her get hurt. She was okay. He was here. He would protect her.

Her sense of smell was next. She could smell the weird combination of cigarette smoke and peppermint that seemed to penetrate the air around him. A smell that she had come to trust over the years. With him there she was calming down more and more by the minute.

As she calmed her sense of feeling came back. She could feel his hand running thru her hair, and instead of having another panic attack like she would have had it been anyone else it actually helped her gain control of her breathing.

When her vision finally cleared she saw the worried green eyes of her best friend. The best friend who somehow managed to calm her down. The best friend who looked ready to cry. When she saw the tears that gathered in his eyes, ready to fall, she sat up and threw her hands around his shoulders, hugging him like there was no tomorrow.

As long as she had him by her side the darkness from her past would be kept at bay.