About a week went by and my infatuation towards this girl had not healed one bit, I was becoming borderline possessive. I barely even talked to her, she didn't try to talk to me either. Why would she? I'm the asshole that ripped apart her notebook in the middle of class, in front of everyone here. I kind of regret doing that now, every class we have together she is always asking to borrow a sheet of paper to write her notes in because she didn't have a book, I swear she was making me feel guilty on purpose or something.
We were currently just subsiding around our lockers, Matt, Aaron and I. I noticed that her locker wasn't too far from ours either, only about ten metres away. I like to watch her as she organises her things sometimes, the way her tongue would stick out as she balanced books in her small arms attempting to twist the lock. I am going crazy I swear.
Today was the last straw, I couldn't take the guilt. Everyday it got worse and worse so I have to get her a new one, I wont say it was from me or anything and I'm not going to tell any of my friends either. Hopefully she will just think its a gift from some stranger.. which is what this practically is.
I just disappear out of mine and the guys' conversation when I noticed her disappearing from her locker, now is my chance. I head to the small college supply shop to quickly purchase a regular notebook, similar to the one she had previously. Why the fuck am I doing this, why do I even care? I don't know the answer to either of those questions yet here I am. One I had bought the book I wait for class to start again before sneaking to the locker corridor, finding my way to her number.
I pull out a small paperclip that I had saved for this exact occasion, picking at the lock gently with my eyebrows furrowed. I don't care about getting caught, I just care about looking like a complete twat. Once I was in I shove the book inside and try not to be nosey, but I couldn't help but stop and look at her things. There are tonnes of books, a few cardigans and a small ham sandwich wrapped in cling film with the crusts cut off. Why the fuck is that so cute to me? fuck..
I soon close up the locker and make sure it doesn't look tampered with, shoving my hands in my pockets before moving on to whatever is next, I hope she never finds out that was me, it would make me seem like such a pussy and that is definitely not the reputation I'm after.
At the end of the day, I stand next to my locker just lingering. I wasn't here for a specific reason, I had been watching her locker like a hawk ever since I planted the book inside and to my knowledge she hasn't seen it yet. Is it too late to go and grab it back and forget anything ever happened? Yes of course it's too late, I know she will be here any second as the bell went off only a few minutes ago.
Before I knew it, there she was. She strolled down the busy hall with her head facing down and her hands in the pockets of her baggy cardigan. Oh what I would do to see her body in a tight dress, the curves.. fuck.
She twists the knob a few times and the door swings open, oh god. She's seen it. My eyes dart back down to Matt and Aaron as I tune into their conversation, making myself at least seem uninterested. I glance up every now and then, she just seemed so confused. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her lips pouted softly, I didn't realise I had lost myself in another one way staring contest until her eyes lock on to mine, shit. I don't look away, I've basically trained myself to keep eye contact with anyone for as long as possible, breaking it shows weakness, and I am anything but weak.
She looks away after a few seconds, just closing her locker and walking in the opposite direction. Why am I so damn disappointed? What was I expecting? We just looked at each other for a few seconds and now I'm waiting for her to leap into my arms and beg me to fuck her? I really am an Idiot. I swallow thickly and clear my throat, looking down to the ground as I shove my hands in my pockets. I'm done with this bullshit.
"I'm going home." I mutter under my breath, heading towards the front doors without looking back. I shouldn't really be going home yet, I still have a maths lesson but fuck that. Oh but wait.. Hannah will be there. That thought alone makes me stop in my tracks, I want to see her. I want to see whether she is using the book I had bought her, just to make sure I didn't waste my money. Yeah.. that will be my excuse. I turn on my heal and head straight for the maths block, waltzing inside the door to my classroom proudly.
She is here, sat in the front row as usual. I decide to sit in a different spot today, instead of sitting right at the back of the classroom I sit behind her, clearing my throat just to make her aware of my presence. After a few minutes, I manage to think of a way for me to make contact.
Leaning forward I tap her shoulder, waiting for her to turn around. "Can I borrow a sheet of paper? I lost my notepad." I mumble under my breath. She stops to look at me for a second, almost studying my features. It made me more than uncomfortable. "And can you stop staring at me, I didn't ask to fuck you I just asked for some paper." I mumble, the small smirk on my face creeping up slightly. She just rolled her eyes, reaching down to her bag that was on the floor before pulling out the familiar notepad and ripping out a clean page carefully. I hold my hand out for it and she soon obliges by putting it in my palm.
"You're welcome." She mumbles, I doubt she thought I heard her.
"I didn't say thank you." I reply with the same volume, causing her eyes to widen a little.
"I know."
"Good." God she is so stubborn, but I kind of like that..
