Tears flushed through my eyes as the beatings came harsh. Sharp pains slashed into my flesh, bruises already stained my pail white skin as I fell onto my knees, gasping for air. It felt as if I was about to choke on my own blood. I could hear the sick pleasure in the deep voice of this man, this man who I used to be able to call my father.
I glanced up, trying to see through the blur of my tears. I could feel blood rushing from my nose, my bruised and purple nose. All I could think was "why?" But not the type of "why" you would be expecting. No. It was more of a "Why don't I know where my blade is?" rather a "Why is this happening. Why did mom have to leave? Why isn't my father who I knew him as before?"
I felt a grip against my neck, "Damn it" I choked to myself. He picked me up, the veins on his arms popping out of his muscular arms. My head smashed against the wall, and I blacked out. Nothing I could hear was real anymore. The world around me spun a thousand times slowly before I could feel my heavy eyes open again. My blood was seeping out from under my hair, but I knew it wasn't serious, it would stop soon, he always did this, and it always did.
I used my weak arms to push myself upwards. my thick brown hair falling onto my forehead. Stumbling, my limbs cold and shaky. I walked slowly until I got to the mirror that was broken next to my door. My bruised knuckles showed, seemingly water color painted into my skin, like a tattoo .I pushed my hair out of my eyes, looking deep into them. They're pure blue, looking identical to my fathers. I spit on my own reflection, hating how much I looked like him.
I watched at the white, bubbled saliva dripped down the reflection of my face and neck. "Gross", I murmured, wiping away the spit with the back of my hand. Sighing, I rolled my eyes and wiped the spit down my dirty pants. The world around was quiet, completely quiet, and I knew I could go out now. Brother was probably at school, which I could not go to today, because of my beating, and father was at work.
Slowly, I walked over to the locked door that I wasn't aloud to go out of. As I unlocked it, it made a clicking sound which made me smile. All I wanted was to be free. I opened the door and the red hot light shone into the darkness of my house. No. Father and brother's house. It was their house, only theirs.
I walked out of my - their house, kicking off my shoes and letting the hand-me-downs fall against the bright green grass. The grass was soft in between my toes as I slowly walked over to the tree in the middle of the yard. I stopped about half way there, looking over to the side. Walking to where the fence stands tall. It's about three feet over my head. I'm about 5,8 so it was hard to see over it.
The warmth from the sun lit my back as I turned to it, closing my eyes. The sunlight showed through my eyelids like red hot coals, the same way it used to when mother was here, before she left me with this monster. The feeling of dry blood soaked into my skin and I stretched my neck out, trying to fight the kink in the muscle. I shook my head, sighing gently as I opened my eyes again.
I stumbled slowly through the soft grass as it slid across my ankles, tickling at my feet. There was a brief moment when I started to think, but I quickly stopped. Thinking was forbidden in this home, thinking is dangerous, because it leads to the most dangerous thing of all- knowledge. Slowly approaching the large apple tree in the middle of the yard, my yard, this was the one thing was mine.
My hand glided down the bark of the tree, feeling the shifts and cracks in it. These are the things that make the tree special though, the things that make it beautiful and original, not like any other, though it was similar in ways. I circled the tree slowly, my hand not leaving the trunk until I met the large birdhouse, that hangs from rusty nails in the side of the tree. My dad and I built this when I was younger. It was about three years ago, but the nails didn't start rusting until last year when she left.
