From Zero [HIATUS]

Chapter 7

It's almost 2 months since Kihyun and I being close. Not too close. I still put a wall between us.

SJ: Jieun ahh

ME: Mmm

Today Suji doesn't have any schedule so she's lurking in my place.

SJ: How are your relationship with him?

ME: Who?

I know who she ask about, but I just want to focus on marking my students' book.

SJ: That guy. What his name? Yoo Kyun?

ME: Kihyun.

SJ: Ha yeahh that guy.

ME: *silent*

Then i feel pillow on my face

ME: Yahhh!! What are you doing?

SJ: Please give me some attention. Tomorrow is a holiday you still can marking them.

ME: No. I have to finish it by today because 'someone' ask me to accompany her shopping tomorrow.

She's grinning. She knows I'm talking about her

SJ: Hehee Mian mian (*sorry sorry) but please answer me about you guys.

ME: Nothing happen okay. What do you expect?

SJ: Well, I just thought you need to open your heart again

ME: Stop it Suji. You know I don't like you to mention about this.

SJ: It's all in the past.

ME: So what?

SJ: Forget about it. Move on. You deserve better. Please.

I close the book and goes to the kitchen. I hate when she mention about this.

SJ: Yahh!

ME: *sigh* Stop it can you?

I sit at the dining table. It's just, I don't know how to avoid her question.

SJ: *sit in front of me and hold my hand* Look. It's not like I force you to like Kihyun. I just want you to be more open. Not just to him. Try to accept anyone in your life. Until when you want to stay like this?

ME: It's not that I don't want but I can't. The pain, I still can feel it. He is my first. You saw with me on that day. You also knew they together behind me, you knew he said he likes me. What if when I'm ready to fall in love again, but he did the same thing to me? I'm don't want to feel the same. It's hurt Suji it's hurt. I'm scared. I don't want to feel it again. I have to smile when deep in me is in pain. You know how I lived after 'it's' happened. You know about it Suji. You want to see me like that again? Tell me Suji.

I burst into tears.

After a few days 'that thing' happen to me, I lost my mom. She knew how I feel because I told her everything. She slept with me every night until she's gone. It feels like she already knew she will leave me. I can't even sleep now without taking pills. I just afraid I losing someone in my sleep again.

SJ: *hug* Sorry Jieun ah. I'm so sorry. I just can't watch you like this again. I want you be happy again. Like before. I miss my old Jieun. I miss my bestfriend. But if that hurting you, I'm sorry. I won't talk about it again.

Both of us crying.

I want to be happy too

In the morning

ME: Yahhh Wake up!!!

SJ: No! Lets me sleep more

We talked so much last night until we fell asleep.