Beyond Normal

Chapter 2

                                                                   October 15th, 2000

“What the hell” I screamed. ”Hi” she said silently. “HI? Hi? Is all you have to say? Where did you go?” I yelled angrily. “Why did you watch me?” she asked ignoring my questions. “I asked you first” I said. “I never left, now you?” she responded. “What do you mean you never left? I haven’t seen you in months!” I said getting up from my seat. ”Why did you watch me? She screamed. “I honestly don’t know why, I saw you once and I could never take my eyes off you” I said while she moved towards to window. “You really never left?” I asked curiously. “Nope” she said popping the P. “why” I asked moving next to her. She turned to face me and said “I tried I just couldn’t”  

December 17th, 2000

It was freezing outside well to him anyway. The lake I was taking him to was a few miles deep into the forest.  This was a secluded area that I was sure no one knew about except for the few college kids that came by, so I was free to act like the beast I was. Now this forest wasn’t the earth green magically place you read about in books. Most of the leaves were moth green that bonded together creating a curtain from the sun; when those rare days occurred.  Most of the time the ground was muddy covered with fallen leaves and branches. We were too deep in the forest to hear cars or other loud uproars created by oblivious humans. I hunted here sometimes; I would wait out here till dark when some of the more daring drunken college students came out to play. When the challenge is too intoxicated to even stand, makes for a boring game and I do love my games. Once we reached the lake it was pure ice except one section that for some reason never froze. I wasn’t one for sappy descriptions of “amazingly beautiful” places but this lake was different. It didn’t hold the stench that every other lake held. The water was a bold blue color that showed streaks of green and light gold when the sunlight reflected off of it. There was tall bright green grass surrounding the perimeter. Tall rocks created a frame on the right side of the lake; that was the one spot the sun caught and took full advantage of throughout the rest of the woods the sun peeked through openings through broken branches and spots where the leaves had fallen off the trees.

I caught a deer drinking from the lake once the dumb creature looked at me then continued going about its business like I wasn’t even there. It was lucky that it caught me on a good day or else I think I would have enjoyed taking up hunting for that afternoon. The lake itself was about 8 feet deep and got colder each inch down.  If I thought swimming when the sun was high in the sky and brightly shinning was great I was sadly mistaken.  I loved ice swimming; the water actually felt cold against my skin if I focused hard enough. I took him to my sanctuary I knew it would be the only time he could touch me without asking why I shared the same temperature as a corpse. I knew he wouldn’t understand how I could survive the water but it would just one of many secrets I would keep from him.

“Why are we here? Its freezing!” he asked shivering. “Because I want to show you something” I told him smiling. “What could possibly be out here that you’re dying to show me?” he said smirking at me.” Just wait a second” I told him. We walked a little farther into the woods and just below a little hill held my sanctuary, my church.  “We’re here” I said. “Wow it’s beautify” he said while he walked around. While he walked around I busied myself stripping out of my jeans and t-shirt, once I finished taking of my shoes  I climbed a tree branch that was close to the ground but still had enough height to give me the thrill I was seeking. “What the hell are you doing” he asked while running to the tree I stood in. “I’m going swimming” I told him. “That water has to be below freezing and then some” he said. “I know” I said while sawn diving into the lake. I swam around for a little before returning to the surface. “Are you insane?” he asked me. “On occasion, yes” I said laughing. “Get out of there before you turn into a pop sickle” he said laughing to himself. If I wanted him to touch me this was my chance. “Kiss me!” I demanded. “Right now?”  He asked “abosl—“Please it might your only chance, please kiss me!” I said interrupting. When he reached the spot I was in, he kneeled down beside and looked into my eyes. “You want me to kiss you right now?” he said shaking his head laughing. “Yes” I told him. He leaned down to kiss my forehead, then he grazed my right cheek with his lips, then he gave my left the same peck. He kissed my nose and moved back a little. “If I kiss you right now; we have to go home, deal?” he told me. “Deal” I said smiling at him. He leaned down and crashed his lips to mine. At that moment I knew I was in trouble that kiss made me feel things I thought I’d gotten rid of. He made me feel like a normal human girl romancing with a normal human boy. I couldn’t let my feelings get in the way of my judgment.  I had to leave him because I cared him.  “Let’s go home” “We should get you inside, you’re as cold as death” he said rubbing his arms up and down my arms.

If he only knew

I woke up like every other day, getting up and walking through my apartment I expected her to be in her normal seat on my counter reading one of my stories. I was shocked to see my counter unoccupied and my papers untouched. I just figured she had a late night and would return to me after she rested. After an hour of waiting I slipped on some old converse and headed towards the elevator, I pushed the fifth button that hardly got any use and waited for my short trip to end. When I reached her floor I could hear what sounded like furniture moving.

“Hey, what are you doing?” I asked while trying to avoid her belongings that were scattered on the floor. “Nothing just packing” she said not looking up at me. “For what?” I asked her. “I’m leaving LVVA” she said looking up in time to see my shocked expression. “Why are you leaving?” I asked her trying to keep my angry at bay. “It’s time to move on, you should too” She told me.  “What do you mean move on? Are you asking me to come with you?” I asked her hopefully. “No, one day you’ll meet a girl who you can fall in love with marry and have kids” she said while turning back to her packing. “You can’t have that with me” she said in a whisper. “Maybe that’s not what I want! Maybe I want something different, strange like you” I told her angrily. “What do you want from me? I can’t be what you want; I don’t even want to try. You say you don’t want normal you want strange, well I can’t give you that either. You don’t understand my life” she said nearly screaming. “Then explain it to me” I told her as I walked to sit next to her. “No. you’ll just be afraid and leave” She said shaking her head. “I just want you. I would never leave… it’s you leaving that I’m worried about” I said honestly. “I’m leaving to keep you safe” she told me getting up. “From what” I asked as I stood beside her. “It doesn’t matter I shouldn’t have let this go so far”

January 4th, 2001 she left me

She left that day without looking back. She was a stubborn little thing, she didn’t listen not that I was convincing enough to stop her. I had hope she would come back in a few months like she always did if she felt the same pull I felt for her, she would be back.

I left even though I didn’t want to, it was the right decision. I needed to keep him safe even if that meant I had to stay away from him; I need to quit being selfish. So I traveled the world I stopped in London and visited that big stupid clock. I didn’t understand why it was a “must see” it was two minutes off.  I laughed out loud meanwhile people sent me disapproving looks and furious glares. If they wanted to look at the stupid clock so be it. Next on my trip was India the reason why was because I wanted to see the elephants. Elephants had always been my favorite animal; my father once took me to see the circus. I would never forget the big creature that made a soft spot in my heart, I remember sitting in the middle close to the ring.  “Papa do you see it?” my young self-asked. He chuckled at my enthusiasm “Yes I see it” “I want one to bring home, can we get one pap can we please?” I asked giving him the pout I always used. “No little one, we can’t” he said keeping he’s tone light. “Little one how would we fit him through the door?” ”He asked me while I sat back a thought about his question.  “Simple we build another door this big” I told him while stretching my arms apart.  Needless to say I didn’t get my elephant but I did get a rose from one while he made his rounds around the ring. I was already gone for two and a half years; he should’ve moved on by now right? For the next year I went to Italy, Guam, I even went back to India just to see the elephants again.  But for the next six months I cowered in Canada, I wanted to go back...