That Little Artist

Untitled Part 30(Random)

1. I am not used to a negative environment,

I trained myself to wake up positive,

Optimistic of the day ahead,

Worrying less of what i did not have,

Treasured and made the most of what i had,

Dreamed of my future just how i want it,

Everything was going so well,

I had money,

My phone,

My music,

My art,

I had never knew how i would achieve my dreams,

But that doesn't mean i just sat,

And waited for everything to work out,

I had done whatever i was scared to do,

I exposed myself,

I started working,

I did not expect drastic success,

No high hopes,

No expectations,

Though i always believed things will work out,

But,

Shit happened,

And life slapped me,

The world shook me from my dream,

And reality hit me hard,

And here i am,

Thinking,

Of how am i going to get through this,

Feeling helpless,

Like i have just wasted the past 17 years,

And 4 years of planning,

I felt backed up,

Although nobody really knew what was in my mind,

And nobody cared,

Nobody would understand obviously,

I have heard them talk,

And none of their topics interest me,

For i know i am different,

Sadly,

I am the only one who knows that,

The only person whom i shared the same thought is dead,

So that leaves me as the only human,

And God of course,

I have teared up underneath my blanket,

I have crumbled into pieces,

Whenever i had been stopped,

With several circumstances,

I am continuously broken when i fail to live up to my expectations,

And am stuck as the average,

Maybe my imagination is wild,

Maybe it needs to be tamed,

Maybe i need to live like how everyone expects me to,

Should i stop,

Craving to be different,

And a difference to other people's lives,

What if i don't want to stop,

What if this is test,

What if i have to work harder and be patient,

Why,

Do i feel like i am living in my own world,

That is too good to be true,

Why,

Do i still proceed although if i know i am risking a lot,

Why,

Do i still run free in my world of possibilities,

i have a mission,

I have a purpose,

I have goals,

But why,

Does this feel like one of those gone wrong stories,

I am confused.

Hugs and kisses,

Everbright.