Gone.

Chapter One - Denial

It's been about 5 months since he left me, why do I still care?
I tell myself he's downgraded, but I can't get over the sickening feeling everyone knows he's found someone new and much better than me, but they just want to cheer me up..
I look around my classroom, seeing everyone pulling out their books and pens.. I sigh and reach into my bag following suite and flip to a random page in my textbook and pretend to read whatever's on the page.
My eyes flick over to him, three desks away from me, chewing on his pen, deep in thought.. I observe his features longingly, wishing I could hold him once more, whisper in his ear, twirl my fingers through his locks..
He suddenly looks up at me, I hold his gaze for a moment trying to find something, anything in his eyes... nothing. I quickly look away at my book and fumble with the pages with my shaking hands.
I let out a held in breath, It's not that surprising.. I think to myself, he never seems to show how he feels, he just has that focused, tired look permanently plastered on his face..
Mr. Howard, a tall, lean man who looks as if he could quit his job any day and become a model, begins speaking to the class, two girls, Freddie and Grace, giggle within their hushed conversation, I take a glance in my dim computer screen at their reflection to see Freddie whispering through cupped hands to Grace, he glances up annoyed,
"Its only Geography, it's not even that hard," He sighs, "I don't understand how the both of you just can't seem to listen,"
He decides to change Freddie's seat out with Taylor, a quiet girl who I've never quite spoken to.
"And Grace, switch with Ethan." I perk up, looking over to him for a reaction.. none. He nods and quietly moves to the desk behind me. I feel my heart flutter as his familiar scent washes over me. The teacher continues and begins writing notes.
I stare at my hands, unable to move, I resist the urge to flip around and gaze into his eyes once more..
I spark an idea and slowly turn my screen towards him. I jump, as I see his face in the reflection staring right back at me, this time with a hint of wonder in his eyes.
I quickly shut my screen and try to focus on the teacher, but the only thing going through my head right now is "Calm down." My vision begins to blur as my breathing quickens. I feel a scream clawing it's way up my throat, but I choke it down.. I can't do this. I need to get out of here.
My hand shoots up into the air like a bolt of lightning and quickly ask to use the restroom. He approves and I quickly leave. The hallway is empty as I walk, Good, I think to myself, I couldn't bring myself to speak to anyone right now..
I quickly turn into the restroom and bump into a person whom I've never met, "Woah!" She says loudly, looking at me like I'm crazy. I quickly apologize and enter the restroom.
I check all the other stalls for anyone else, nothing. I bolt into a stall, my fingers dig through my hair as I slide to the floor. Tears finally escape through the corners of my eyes slowly at first, then rapidly. I quietly sob, resting my head on my knees.