If I Die Young: A Fremmer Oneshot

If I Die Young

This will be a Fremmer/ Zamika one-shot. Mainly Fremmer. I mostly focus on Zamika but I decided to do a Fremmer story. If you guys like this and want like a part two to this one-shot then your wish is my command! 

Summer's P.O.V

My life has been so hard lately. I recently had a doctors appointment last month where I was diagnosed with a rare heart disease. I have been suicidal since my dad passed away last Christmas. Its only March and I feel like I'm dying. The only thing keeping me going is my boyfriend Freddy and my best friends Zack and Tomika.

I am currently in my third year of college but its just another thing to add to my stress. I am FAILING! And it makes me feel even worse because my grandma is paying for my tuition and her money is going to waste. I feel so bad for myself.

I hide myself from the outside world. All my social media has been deleted because I feel so isolated. Sometimes I lock myself in my room and cry. I cry for myself. I cry for my father and wonder where my mother is. Will she ever come back? Why would a 29 year old woman leave her 5 year old daughter. I am 19 now mother. Look at me now.

I'm broken and I don't want to be fixed. Tomika doesn't get it. She was abused by her father but he's in jail now. She isn't broken anymore. I have so much going on with me and no one ever realizes except for one person. And the sad thing is that person is my professor. No body I care about cares. They don't care enough to notice I'm hurting. 

Right now I am just sitting in my bed not even bothering to get ready for classes. Tomika usually stops by my dorm so we could walk together but she stopped 3 weeks ago. Guess she stopped caring. Zack doesn't even talk to me much anymore. To him, I'm just his best friends girlfriend. Freddy still acts like he cares. He is so caring and loving to me but doesn't notice that my smile is fake. I occasionally talk to Mr. Finn on the phone. But lucky for him, his life turned around the year we left school. He finally found a band that wont kick him out. He's been making good cash. 

Tomika arrives minutes later with Zack. "Hey Summer. I haven't come to your dorm in a while 'cause I started walking with Zack. I hope you didn't mind." She says and I just fake a smile and nod. Tomika doesn't even know me anymore. When everything was okay with me, she could always tell my fake smile from my genuine smile. Now she doesn't even notice.

"Yeah, no problem, being lonely is my specialty!" I said trying to make her take a hint that I'm not feeling alright. She just looked at me with a blank expression. Some bestfriend she is. "Well yeah, anyways, you guys head on without me. I just got to write a quick letter." I said and she shrugs and walks out with Zack.

I sit on my bed again and get out a lined peace of paper, an envelope and pen. I started writing individual letters to everyone. I really put my heart into each and everyone of these letters so they can see how much I've been hurting.

Dear Tomika,

Thank you for being there when I needed you. Now when I need you I don't even know where to look. So a lot has been going on for me and Its made me question if the people I care about even care about me. I want you to notice me hurting and help me. I need help and don't know where to find it. I wanted a best friend who will be by my side at all times. Help me through the hard times. College changed me. It changed you. Everything was fine until I lost my dad which you never even knew. I hope this letter will help you remember me as someone you cared about. I'm not going to kill myself. I'm going to let myself die.

Sincerely,

You Friend Summer