Beautifully Abused .

Early Life 📍

Hey, my name is Alianna & I'm 21 years old ... I will tell you about how my life started even if it hurts to even think about it.

I was born in Brooklyn, New York ... in the hood ... not the fake hood but the real deal type. I heard gunshots every other night and it became the regular after a while. My grandmother & my Auntie Taya raised me ever since I was six years old.

I moved in with them because my Daddy was shot in a drug transaction that went left. He was my bodyguard and my first "love" honestly. At, the age of 5 years old  I didn't understand what happened to him I just always remember my grandma telling me "he'll be back" and that stuck inside my head until they bared the news to me when I was 10 years old. I never met my mother because she was addicted to drugs. I have pictures of her up until she ran off when I was 8 months. I wish I was closer to her and sometimes I wish I could feel the warmth of her skin but ... Lord knows that may never happen. Sometimes, I sit and just think how my mother "died" but she's somewhere still breathing. At times, I blame myself, I think that it is because I am not good enough and that is why she ran off and left me. I hated when my school gave me papers to sign as I was younger needing a parent signature and I have one but I guess thank God for my guardians: my Grams & Titi.

As, I was growing up my Grams always spoiled me with her monthly checks from the state. She always kept my hair neat and my clothes & sneakers were always on point. She always said "My grand baby not gonna be out here looking crazy." I loved her even more when she said that to me but I hated when she got drunk every Saturday night and would get angry and I was automatically her target. My Grams is an angry drinker and she gets aggressive ... I still remember the hits and words that occurred those Saturday nights. Some nights, I wanted to run away from the lady but I never had the courage to do so because I know she would crush my butt if I were to do so. When my Grams would be beating me for no apparent reason no one and I mean no one could get her off of me. After all the suffering, I would cry myself to sleep and always wonder how my life would be different if my parents were with me.

I forgot to mention, I have 3 older brothers: Sakir, Daron & Bramir we all have the same mother and father. We all lived in the same house and they became my bodyguards when my daddy died. They bullied me at home but when we were at school they did not even allow someone to snicker next to me. They're so overprotective of me and I love it but sometimes it got in the way. At a young age they all were interfering with marijuana & cigarettes on the low. When my Grams & Auntie Taya found out they didn't even seem to care as much ... they did not get any heat about it at all. They interferes with gangs and were always out until 2-3 A.M. When they got home my aunt used to line them up one by one and give them whoppings but they never learned.

By, the age 14 I was already developed as a "woman", I had D-cups & I was thick in the eye-appealing places. While, walking I always was getting called to come over but I always kept walking. My auntie Taya's weekly boyfriends always used to look at me in this thirsty strange way that I could never understand.

I didn't understand why they looked at me in that manner until one of her boyfriends who went by the name Ace-J was at the house. My grandma was out grocery shopping, my brothers were out gangbanging and my Aunt Taya went to go on a store run and she left me at the house with her boo Ace-J.

I was in my room, sitting on the edge of my bed, watching reruns of Proud Family. Ace-J opens my bedroom door and slams it behind him. He usually plays games with me so I thought that this was just another game that we we're going to play but this time his hand was somewhere it shouldn't be ... I tried to get him off of me but he was too strong.

He touched on my goods repeating,
"I've been watching your good looking self", "I couldn't wait for this moment" & "I'm really gonna introduce you to womanhood".  Just sickening! I did nothing to deserve this but he'll never understand.

While, I lay in tears being sexually violated the thought that comes to my mind is "when will my Auntie Taya come back from the store?" This went on for 25 minutes straight and finally I hear my Aunt Taya's loud motor come up the street. Ace-J glances and hurries up and gets out of my room yelling at me to keep my mouth shut or else. I rushed to the shower seeking to take his scent off of me and all this nastyness off of me. I cried my eyes out in the shower I was so hurt that I didn't have enough courage to speak about what just took place. After, my shower I wrapped my hair up and fell asleep because I was tired from all of the tears I shedded.