Beautifully Abused .

Silent Suffering 📍

Two nights after Ace-J took advantage of me it happened all over again. My grandmom was down the street gambling, my brothers were out gang hanging and my Auntie Taya went to go pick up our food from the Deli. It seemed as if his grip was stronger and I could not get him off of me. Disgusted? Isn't even the word. I hate that man! Why would do that to me? What the heck have I done to you? After, he's done with me he tells me that if I ever open my mouth to tell anyone about the situation and get him trouble he'll shoot everyone in this house up. I believed him. I really knew that he was capable of his words so I just said "okay".

I'm fourteen years old trapped in a now disgusting body that I do not want to be in anymore. I'm walking in disgust. No matter how many times I shower it seems like I'm still dirty.

Is it possible that someone can save me from my own body?
No one knows how much this bothers me?

I sat and thought that maybe I should join some school activities or get me some friends to get my mind off of all of this. I stared at myself in the mirror trying to figure out how I can escape seeing Ace-J. I'm fourteen years old scared to be in my home. I loved my guidance counselor, Ms. Onnia. She was young, beautiful, well-dressed & smelled so lovely everyday. She always asked me if I wanted to stay with her after school hours and help her but I always said "no". I'm finally going to take this offer because I cannot be in the same house as Ace-J showing him respect so I don't get popped by my Aunt. As all these thoughts roamed my head, I laid my head on my pillow and fell asleep.

It's Monday morning, I'm determined to stay with Ms. Onnia after school because I know by the time I come home Ace-J will be right in my living room. I got ready for school and I did not feel like going really. I put my black Nike sweatsuit on and slipped on red/white/ and black Huaraches on. I put my hair up in a ponytail and appreciated my hair even more this morning because my mother gave me beautiful hair. I left the house with my book bag on my back and before I left I got two Poptarts. I walked to school with my headphones in my ears and walked so unbothered. When I got to school, I went straight to Ms. Onnia's office and told her I was staying with her today. She looked up at me and smiled then said "no problem love, we can order food and I'll bring you home lovie, get up to class fast before you're late". She made me start my day off right & positive. I went to my two blocks and then it was lunch. I sat by myself at lunch but I kinda wanted to make some friends then again something weighed me down & told me to sit down. I sat and ate some Doritos then washed it down with Mango Arizona.

Before, I knew it school was over and I went straight to Ms. Onnia's office. I sat on a fluffy couch she has and we talked about everything. She's really the best guidance counselor ever ... I could not ask for a better one. After, all this talking she asked what type of pizza I like, I responded "pepperoni please". I called my Grandma and made Ms. Onnia speak to her then my Grandma agreed. I sat on the couch chilling and just speaking her. Her responses made me feel way better about life and today I really never wanted to leave her office today. I prayed that when Ms. Onnia dropped me off home that Ace-J's car would not be parked in front of my Grams' house.

The pizza guy delivered our pizza to the office and Ms. Onnia sent me to go get it with a $10 tip. I did as I was instructed and went back to the office to eat. I enjoyed my pizza and enjoyed my time with her. After 45 minutes, she packed her stuff, turned off her computer and pulled her blinds down. I got my book bag on my back and waited by the door. I helped her with her stuff and followed her to her car. She has a nice, white, recent BMW. Ouuuu she got money- I thought.

"Where do you live", Ms. Onnia asked.
"237 Rockwell Avenue", I answered.
Ms. Onnia gave me this looked and I already knew she did not want to drive down my hood. I sure don't blame her either. She put 105.1 F.M. and drove while we sung a songs together. She pulled up to my house by 6:07 p.m. and I noticed Ace-J's car but three polices car by it.

I wonder what happened.

I thanked Ms. Onnia and closed the door and walked up to my door. I opened the door and the cops are in my Grandma's house.

God please let them not be here for my brothers.

I walk in the house and I see Ace-J in handcuffs in the kitchen corner. My Aunt Taya is yelling at Ace-J for being dumb and inconsiderate. I go to my brothers' room and they explain to me that: Ace J was caught selling weed in front of the house and got caught. He tried stashing some in my aunt's car and they had my Aunt in handcuffs but took them off because Ace-J confessed.

I overheard the cops explaining to Ace-J that he'll be behind bars for a long time because he had felonies, charges and has over 34 pounds of weed found titled to his name. I was happy but I didn't show how happy I was. I was happy because Ace-J will never ever get the opportunity to rape me again. I didn't snitch but he sure got what he deserved! God you served me justice in a different way and I sure do appreciate it!

I showered, finished my homework & went straight to bed.

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