two months in, and i'm afraid you're getting bored of me. you don't kiss me with the same passion you used to. you don't look at me with the sparkle in your eyes. and it's starting to drain me.
we're sitting on your bed, and tears are gathering in my eyes. i'm afraid to look at you now, i'm afraid to say anything that could make you angry at me or disappointed. i just want you to love me. i love you, but you're falling out of my grasp.
"what are you thinking about?"
your voice fills my ears and i look up to see your brown eyes looking at me with concern. they widen suddenly and your fingers fly up to the sides of my eyes.
"anne," you whisper, sadness creeping in your voice, "what's wrong?"
everything slips. i let out a choked sob and let the tears fall. i'm crying in front of you, probably scaring you. i'm crying because i'm weak and can't keep my feelings hidden. you wipe away my tears.
when you pull me into your chest so i can cry, i smell your strawberry scent. you have the same scent, the same taste, the same everything since we've started dating. i'm your girlfriend, and you're mine. but we're slipping, slowly.
i grip your shirt in my hands. i feel lost in my mind as you shush me, attempting to calm me down.
it takes about five minutes to get me to stop crying as hard. i'm still crying but it's teensy by the time i pull away from your arms. i wipe my eyes with my hand and arm.
"i'm afraid," i whimper. "you're slipping. i'm slipping. i'm afraid."
"of?" you ask, suddenly curious. your features are so innocent, so cute. my heart flips at the sight and i sniffle.
"do you still love me?" my voice is shaking. you gasp. "you don't kiss me as passionate as you used to. your eyes, oh my god your eyes — they don't shine when you're with me anymore."
and now we're both crying. but this time, you kiss me, hard. it tastes of raspberry and pineapple, of tears. it tastes of guilt and sadness and love. it tastes of asking for forgiveness. it's like we're tasting each other, searching each other's mouths to try and find our separate answers.
i only hope you can hear mine. that i forgive you, but not myself.
