and suddenly, we're slipping all over again. we're fighting over the smallest things and then we reach this moment.
you throw my class ring at me out of anger, tears forming in your eyes. i gawk at you and yell, "i'm not lying to you! i wouldn't ever cheat on you!"
but you're not listening. out of my own anger, i pull off your class ring and slam it down on your mattress. you flinch. i lock my eyes with yours. they hold anger and sadness, and it's like all the love is gone.
but i love you. i love you so goddamn much and it's so painful. i feel like my heart is being pulled apart slowly. i gave you my heart and now you're throwing it against the wall with tears running down your cheeks.
you shut your eyes hard. tears escape and sobs rack through your body. the anger slowly slips from my body when i realize you're crying, and i reach out to grab your hand.
you pull away at the slightest touch. i never cheated on you. yet you think i did. is this your way of breaking up with me?
so i let the words slip. "are you. . .are you breaking up with me?" i ask softly, feeling guilt and hurt fill up my heart. your brown eyes can't even reach my eyes and i know the answer.
"maybe we should be broken up," you say. "i love you but i don't know what to do anymore. just. . .leave me alone. come talk to me when you're civil. get out."
and now i'm sitting in my driveway, in my car, sobbing uncontrollably. my heart was shattered and it's like i couldn't breathe. you're all i can think about.
your strawberry scent. the way your eyes lit up when i said, "i love you." the way you smiled at me whenever i said something totally cheesy. the way you giggled after every single kiss, the way you tasted of so many things each kiss.
and i've lost it. and i don't understand. i don't understand how you can just fall in love and then fall out of it. maybe you've fallen out of love with me and i didn't realize. maybe i need to fall out of love.
so with a deep breath, and as i wipe away my tears, i try and forget you. i try to forget your strawberry kisses, your blueberry breath, your pineapple tongue, your watermelon fingers, your banana arms — i try to forget.
i let my heart break. i'll stick to my promise for you, and only you.
it was a pleasure to have my heart broken by you, elise.
