Reality's Blade

Chapter 18: Fanning the Flames

"Today's training is going to be lighter than usual." Hikage explained, a look of concern having at some point planted itself firmly into his features. I didn't even want to contemplate what expression I must be making, trying to keep my mind blank and avoiding thinking 'I love you' from surfacing was taking all I had. Hearing it would be light training let my racing heart ease just a fraction.

Hikage pulled two fans from his hakama, I could tell these were not his personal ones, for their edges were not lined with gold, but instead had a simple wooden design. Curiously I took them from his outstretched hand and opened them, the inside had been left blank.

"I'm going to teach you the fan form today." An excited and lively look brightened his face, I smiled, I could tell he had been looking forward to this.

"You know, I hope you aren't expecting too much from me. I have a feeling this really won't suit me." I warned uncertainly.

"Nonsense. I'm teaching you. You learnt the way of the sword. Do you doubt my teaching ability that much?" He retorted, his offended pretence was light hearted.

I only chuckled in response. It wasn't him I doubted, it was my own ability. However, after the numerous times he had lost his composure in his act as the tough samurai, I wasn't surprised to think he may have been feeling a little deflated himself.

"Try to copy me." Hikage instructed as he slowly took me through the starting moves.

I did my best to imitate what I saw, but the natural elegance Hikage radiated made it hard to focus on my own body, my eyes were drawn to the long arcs he drew with his arms and the way he seemed to act out a story. His motions were fluid and clean, if he were a blade cutting through the air, then I was a club dragging through water. My body felt clumsy and heavy, the fans unnatural in my hands.

"Show me the first three moves." Hikage stood, one arm folded across his chest, the other reaching to his face in a contemplative gesture.

Under his watchful gaze my palms felt sweaty and my breathing slightly more ragged. What was the first move again? I struck down to my right side, the move didn't have the snap to it that Hikage produced, it felt blunt. I raised the fan up, trying to recapture the smooth lines I witnessed, but the movement was jerky. I tried to imagine the sweeping of the taranceri leg out of my path but the gristly imagery only served to ruin my focus. Next came the lunging step for slicing down the exposed body, even I could tell my effort seemed half-hearted. I was trying! My body wouldn't listen to me, someone else was pulling the strings.

I didn't want to look at Hikage, I had just butchered his routine, I was almost offended myself that something so beautiful had been tarnished by my clumsiness.

"You look... Stiff. You need to relax as you move then find moments of tension only at the end of each move. Extend your limbs more."

Hikage strode towards me and positioned himself behind me. My body grew tenser at this development and my chest got a bit tighter, squeezing my lungs smaller still. If he wanted me to relax, this most certainly wasn't the way to go about it.

"I'm going to move your arms for you, so try to just let them go for a moment. I want you to feel where there should be no resistance and then where there are short moments of tension."

Cool fingers slipped around my wrist and gently gripped. My mind was being filled with contradictions. His touch was drawing all of my attention to my arm, yet I was trying to relinquish control of it. My heart was trying to push it's way out through my ribs, if he got any closer I feared he may hear it, if he couldn't already feel the rapid pulsating in my wrist.