I'm Not Lost

Forget Me

Mom gets out of the car first, followed by me. As we approach the door, I hear my name. I turn around slowly, I've always been afraid of being seen in public. To my relief it was only Nick. He ran faster toward me and mom and put his arm around my waist.

He kissed me on the cheek and opened the front door. He let my mom go first and while I walked he squeezed himself through to walk beside me. We met my mom again at the front desk to the restaurant.

We were escorted by a waitress with a southern accent and black hair. I ordered first and looked at my boyfriend, who was studying the menu carefully, even though he's memorized it. I smile at him while I stare.

He looks up at the waitress and orders, then looks at me. "What," He laughed. "Something in my teeth?" I laughed after he smiled big. "No, I just love you. And you're just like hot. So, yeah I'm staring!" He smiled and my mom shook her head, "You guys make me miss my high school years, God, Don't make me feel old..." She smiled.

About 20 minutes after ordering, the food arrived and was smelling amazing. I hadn't eaten in two days. Loss of appetite, depression effect. I just picked at my food at first, until Nick asked, "Are you okay, babe?" I realized I was just staring into space with my fork in my hand. I looked and smiled, "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks." I ate my whole plate, and wiped my mouth with a napkin.

My phone started buzzing in my back pocket. I leaned over and grabbed it. The screen lit up with mine and Nick's faces, with the largest letters, MY FATHER, I looked up at my mom. I was scared to death. She dropped her fork and took the buzzing phone and read the screen.

She handed it back, "Answer it." She said and put her hand down. I clicked answer and handed toward the bathroom. "Hello?" I said into the dark screen. "Hey, Dani? It's Michael, your father..." I rolled my eyes. "Do not call me Dani." I whisper

yelled. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to call my daughter her na-"

"Do not call me Dani. My fucking name is Daniella." I'm yelling now. "You haven't been here long enough to even know me. You left me and mom at that hospital, with me sick in that hospital bed. Mom was in tears, you had no fucking sympathy."

"I think I need to go, and Daniella, watch your mouth." He sighed. "Thought your mother would do a lot better job raising my daughter. And Honey, you weren't fucking sick. You tried to kill yourself. Think I'm gonna have sympathy for a pathetic suicide? Funny" Now he's laughing at me.

"Pathetic? I'm pathetic? I'm fucking pathetic?! What's pathetic is a 40 year old man marrying and fucking a 22 year old and running off with the stupid bitch. Oh and how's Jeremy? Probably wanting to kill himself too." And I heard him talk to Sabrina.

"Bitch, don't talk to my husband like that. I will not tolerate it." A female voice approached the phone. "Wow. Tolerate. You upped you vocab... Looks like stupid bitch is college bitch. Or she just fucked her professor. Maybe both." I was so mad my face was turning red with anger and I was gonna throw up.

"Oh, maybe we just handle this in person..." She said. "Are you serious. Like I'd want to meet my dads replacement." And I clicked the phone off. I wasn't crying, was I?

I didn't want to cry over my father but I did anyways. I started wailing. Face in the sink, old mascara running down my face, and lip balm smeared. I collapsed into the floor into a puddle of my tears and sink water. I couldn't bring myself to stopping or even standing up. I was so past my breaking point.

"Why can't you all just f-f-forget me. Just leave me alone, just stay away from me. Please just everyone leave me alone!!" I was whispering. "I want to be dead." I pictured everything in my head, I couldn't help but do it. I just felt dead. I died right there.