Fault of an empire

Epilogue

I'll always be there for you

T

he famous six words a mother would say, words I never got to and regret not saying. I have a lot of regrets in life, so much that I've lost track. I am a mother without her child.

I barely knew his father, his face still haunts me to this day. He's long gone but I can still feel his presance, looming over my shoulders in this empty house. His eyes staring down at me.

A sight you can't forget.

I didn't want my son but I could never bring myself to abort him, I just couldn't. I will never forget the day he was born.

I was in a lot of pain, my mother by my side telling me to push on and to not give up. My vision was blurry and I was weak, they thought I'd not make it so they rushed me through the ward and had to cut me open.

I faded in and out. Noise muffled and a ring in my ears, I felt my mother patting my shoulders. I did it. I was gonna be okay. When my vision went back to normal I saw the many doctors crowded around my baby, was he alive? Is he okay? Before I could ask my tired body gave in, my eyes shut as I wisked off to sleep.

I woke up in the recovery room, my mother at the side of a crib. Her mortified expression stabbed through my chest, looking over I understood why she looked so scared.

He was not human.

My face went pale and I instantly thought of his father once more. The sight making my stomach turn.

I didn't know what to do. How would I know what to do with a half monster child? Back then I should've been more generous to him, it wasn't his fault and I should've given that crying little stranger a chance.

Unfortunately, I didn't.

That night after I was signed out I walked through the streets, baby in hand, all alone.

I hated the rain, I didn't want to hear a thing but the rain poured down causing a lot of noise and for my baby to cry. A mother should know how to stop her baby from crying it's eyes out but I couldn't. I felt lost and I needed to start anew.

My shoes clacked against the pavement leading to the orphanage, my body shaked as I rung the bell. Handing him over was no problem, no problem at the time. My head was cloudy and I wasn't thinking about him, I only thought of me. Selfish selfish me.

Putting him in the lady's arms was the last tine I've ever seen my son. I wish I could go back and keep him. Stop me from worrying all night about him. There's no denying a mothers love. I know I should've known that.

For many nights after I did move away I lie thinking "Is he happy?", "What is someones abusing him?", "What is he's being tormented and rejected for who he is??". I barely stoke to him let alone looked at him but I was worrying so much for his safely.

The day it came on the news that my baby was kidnapped from the orphanage by an unknown criminal broke me. It hurt, it hurt knowing that that was MY baby, a child I brought to this world and for what? To be left behind and probably killed or tortured? It isn't right.

Sadly some mistakes you can't recover from.