But First Lemme Take a Urie

But First Lemme Take a Urie- Chapter One

I am currently in the state jail. I’d tell you why, but it wouldn’t make sense to you. It doesn’t make sense to anyone, actually. I didn’t kidnap him, I simply needed to see him, I’m writing this incredibly short letter to you, and hoping for a response.

-xoxo, Autumn

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Autumn,

Of course you got arrested, you kidnapped Brendon Urie. I know you love him, but just understand; it wasn’t right. It’s illegal to “borrow” a celebrity. You know if it was right, I’d be there for you, but it isn’t. Just go ahead and tell me the story of how you managed to kidnap the singer of Panic! At the Disco.

Xoxo, Misaki

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Misaki,

I didn’t kidnap him! You of all people would know that. I simply borrowed him. The authorities and everyone else may think so, but you’re one of my best friends, and you don’t believe me! This is crazy, the world’s gone crazy. Please help me.

Xoxo, autumn

I swear; I don’t belong here. I may only be sentenced for a month, but I don’t belong here. I was put into a jail for the criminally insane, which I sure as hell am not. Why does everything have to lead to this? I’m not like the rest of them. I don’t see things, I’m dying. We are all slowly dying. It’s a theory I found a few years ago.

As I sit there, bored out of my mind, I remember what they said when I first got here.

“Hello, Autumn, and welcome to ‘The Home for Criminally Insane Individuals’. If you’d like a tour, ask around with the different kids here. Just remember, you are different. You’re not as insane as some of them. One I’d personally like to get close to is the one over there,” she pointed at an average-sized man with long black hair and eyeliner, “Gerard. He is pretty nice. His only problem is that he has schizophrenia. It doesn’t do much to bring it up, so I wouldn’t if I were you. Good luck with your next few weeks around these kids.”

I walked over to the man, Gerard. I greeted him with a scowl of my face. He smiled at me, his tiny teeth showing. Oh, they were so adorable. He reminded me of a little pixie man.

“Hi, my name is Gerard, what’s yours?”

“Autumn, Why are you here?”

“According to the doctors, I have schizophrenia, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with me.”

“I got admitted here for quote unquote ‘kidnapping’ Brendon Urie. I only borrowed him”

“Borrowing and kidnapping people don’t sound all that different to me, Autumn.”

“My argument is perfectly valid. I was making a music video making fun of the song that says, ‘But first, let me take a selfie’. I changed it to ‘But first, let me take a Urie’. Honestly, why would someone get in trouble for something as silly as that? One more thing, why a mental institution? All I did was supposedly kidnap a singer.”

“Autumn, I think we have a problem here. That problem is that you think its fine to kidnap someone, just to record something. My problem is completely different from yours. According to the doctors, I have a severe mental disorder, schizophrenia. I have imaginary friends. It can be a problem when they start controlling me, luring me into doing things I’d never do. I was put here not only because of my so-called schizophrenia, but also because my imaginary friends told me to do something, I’d never own up to it if you didn’t know I have the imaginary friends, but here I go, telling you everything about me.  I was unaware of this problem; I thought everyone could see my friends, but no. I think I may have shot someone important to me. My brother, Mikey, he was put in the hospital while I was being admitted to this place. Could you call me and tell me when you get out? It would mean the world to me.”