BTS Short Story Collection

K.TH | Just One Day 5/6

*Four days after your memorable birthday*

Dear Diary,

I've literally been sitting here for 30 minutes just staring at these blank pages, and now I'm finally writing something. I want to write down all of the twisting emotions coursing through my body and the jumbled thoughts giving me a headache. 

They say it helps to express your thoughts and memories in a way to see them for yourself so you can better cope with them. But sometimes that's just not possible in detail. 

I can look back on this day...no, that very moment, and remember everything crystal clearly...

Because it was my first heartbreaking moment. 

It wasn't even a proper goodbye... 

For the remaining three days BTS was in LA, after they were done with work, they all came to visit me at my house. 

Tae told me he had to beg all day on his knees to his manager the first time to let the group visit their new friends, which I found pretty sweet and quite amusing :)

Then all my friends and I just hung out with them like we all had been long-time friends. The atmosphere was so warm and comforting and made me smile nonstop.

To be honest, Taehyung and I would sometimes slip away from the group to just be with together. My heart always fluttered but I watched myself to not come off to flirty because I wanted him to relax and feel like a normal boy, not an idol who has millions of fans. 

During those times, we simply just chatted endlessly, I felt like time froze just for us when we were speaking of random things that made me hysterically laugh, almost burst out into tears, act serious like a mother, and some knowledgeable advisor. Taehyung bought out all the best in me and the same went for him too.   

Of course, we all had to be really careful. I greatly trusted my friends not to post any pictures of them with the members. Luckily my house had plenty of entertainment in the backyard and basement (sports games, home arcade, random games they made up, etc). I felt bad since it felt like the BTS boys were all cooped up in my house, but Tae reassured that they all preferred it private this way, and still had loads of fun, which I couldn't be any more thankful for. 

Taehyung and I secretly agreed not to say a single goodbye until the last possible minute...but then it became too late. 

This happened all happened just 12 hours ago. 

Taehyung was supposed to visit me one last time early morning to say goodbye, but instead, I woke up to a text message at 8:00 am telling me that he was already at the airport because of schedule changes.

I think I ran 8 red traffic lights and was dozens of miles beyond the speed limit because I got to the airport in 15 minutes flat. 

Luck was on my side at the moment I found an immediate parking spot, then that luck ran out when I saw crowds of people, and I knew it's because of BTS's presence. 

I usually hate crowds, especially being alone in swarms of people, but all I remember was I had one thought in mind, "I need to see Tae one last time" and that one thought led my feet through screaming bodies and I pushed my way to the front. 

And that's exactly what happened.

I saw Kim Taehyung one last time. We made eye contact and a smile sprouted across my face...

...I expected his wide boxy smile back...but I'm the idiot who forgot I made friends with a super famous idol and that hundreds of eyes would be watching. 

Taehyung stopped for a split second, wanted to smile back, but was pushed forward by his leader. I stared at his back as he disappeared through the entrance.

"Goodbye," I whispered.

As I sit here trembling in my seat, tears forming rivulets down my face, my handwriting slowly turning into chicken-scratch, I force my hand to continue to write down my thoughts. Every experience and feeling, I need to see them on paper so if I ever look back in this diary, I'll know it won't be a dream. 

Was this a crush, love, or infatuation? Was the only reason I fell for him was that I loved him already as the idol he was? Because, otherwise, I would never just have fallen that easily and hard for someone I just met.

It has to be...but deep down, I know that reason just doesn't sit right in my heart. It would be easy to just accept that reasoning: I was infatuated with BTS's Kim Taehyung.

But I can't accept that. I don't believe I fell for him because of that.

I fell for an outgoing weirdo who knows how to make me laugh and talks nonstop so there's never a boring and awkward moment but doesn't understand second-hand embarrassment yet knows how to use his words when needed to sweet talk me or comfort me. 

I fell for Kim Taehyung who just wished to be a normal boy whenever he was with me. 

I granted that to him for four days, and in return, he showed me how it felt to be with someone you wished on the stars for. 

But I guess when something happens too fast, it falls just as fast but feels like it fell harder.

I don't know if I will ever see him again, like for real as the close friends we've become. 

So this is the last time I'm writing in this diary and I'm hiding it because these last chapters in my life are too heavily weighted with good and bad memories. 

I can't break...I have to move on.