I've Lost My Fear Of Falling (a Frerard oneshot)

Frank's POV:

I'm so fucking bored. I wish Gerard would stop drawing for a second.

"Geraaaaaaard I'm boooored." I whined, trying to get his attention. "What do you want to do?" he asked me, not seeming to care.

"I don't know. But something. Please." I replied annoyingly. Gerard closed his notebook and turned to face me.

"Want to go see a movie? I hear there's a new Godzilla movie out. Or do you wanna get something to eat? What else?" Gerard asked. I didn't reply. I just stared at the beautiful face in front of me. God he's perfect. His jawline, his beautiful pink lips just begging to be kissed, his cute little nose, his cheekbones, his soft pale skin, his jet black hair falling perfectly in front of his gorgeous hazel eyes, and everything else about him. I am so in love with him I can hardly stand it. Gerard noticed I was staring and blushed violently and looked away. It was so quiet I could hear his heart racing and his breathing fast. He's so insecure. I hate it. He shouldn't be.

"Shh. Gerard it's okay. It's okay." I said, rubbing his back trying to comfort him. I looked into his eyes for a moment, put my hand on the back of his neck, and pulled him into my lips. I kissed him slowly and sweetly, savoring his gorgeous lips on mine. He pulled away and looked at the floor. "Gerard, are you okay?" I asked him, knowing that he wasn't. He was in a bad state at the time and I could always tell when there's something wrong. "Y-yes" he stuttered, shaking. "Look, I know something's wrong. Don't try to play this game with me. Tell me what's going on." I said sternly. "Nothing is going on, Frank! Now leave me alone!" he shouted and opened his notebook to draw once again. I just sat there for a moment staring at him in shock. Then it hit me. Oh no. Please no. Not again. I took his arm and tried to yank his sleeve up. He pulled his arm away quickly and yelled, "FUCK OFF." A tear rolled down my cheek. This can't be happening again. "Gerard", I said, "Please. Let me see your arm." After about 30 seconds of silence, he sighed as a tear fell from his eye. He slowly gave me his arm. I pulled his sleeve up. There they were. The vibrant red wounds on top of fading scars. I began softly crying and I put my forehead against his ravaged arm. "Gerard...", I whimpered pathetically. He said nothing. Just stared. Watching me cry in front of him. It was so embarrassing. Just then, I felt a sudden boiling rage build up inside of me. I could feel it starting at my feet and making its way up to my cherry red face. I was trying to contain myself but I lost all control of my actions. I stood up and screamed right in his face, "STOP FUCKING DOING THIS TO YOURSELF GERARD. FOR FUCK'S SAKE ITS TEARING ME APART. I THOUGHT YOU WERE OVER IT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH IT HURTS ME TO LOOK AT YOUR ARMS AND SEE LOADS OF GOD DAMNED CUTS AND SCARS?" At that point I broke down. I dropped to my knees and started sobbing hysterically, my face in my hands, unable to control myself. I looked up at Gerard, still sobbing. I could see him struggling to hide the pain in his beautiful hazel eyes. Then he got up silently and walked to the bathroom. I remained curled up on the floor crying for about 60 seconds before realization hit me like a lightning bolt to the chest. My eyes widened like a deer in headlights and I ran to the bathroom. I heard Gerard sobbing through the door and tried to open it. It was locked. Of fucking course. "GERARD UNLOCK THE DOOR" I screamed, banging on the door in front of me. He did nothing. "GERARD PLEASE" I yelled, crying. I kneeled in front of the door with tears rolling down my face. I sat there for a little while, then ran to get a paper clip and pick the lock. I opened the door to find Gerard sitting on the floor, back against the wall, eyes shut, crying, and bleeding all over his clothes and the floor. Right hand holding a blade, left hand holding an unopened bottle of pills. I fucking knew it. "Gerard Arthur Way. Give me the god damned blade. Right now." I said, tears still flowing from my eyes. He gave it to me, his hand shaking. I looked at his forearm. Completely destroyed. Deep gashes from directly below his palm to the crease in his elbow. I tried to stay calm about it. That's when I looked straight into his tear filled eyes, brought the blood stained blade to my lightly scarred arm, and ran it across my skin creating a deep cut. Blood immediately started to fill the cut, then ran down my arm and dropped to the floor. Gerard gasped, put his hand over his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut. He shook his head aggressively. I stared at his trembling figure. "This is what I have to deal with. Times 10. Do you understand how I feel?  Do you get how much it hurts? And to walk in here and see you with your arm completely destroyed, ready to kill yourself... it's... it's unexplainable. Don't you fucking remember when you told me you loved me and you wanted to be with me forever? Does that mean anything to you anymore? Do you know how much it would destroy me if you killed yourself? I would end up killing myself as well. Gerard, I'm in love with you. I don't ever want you to leave and I don't want you to hurt yourself.", I said sternly. He finally looked into my eyes and said "I'm sorry Frankie" in a soft and shameful tone. I sat down next to him, brought his arm to my lips and kissed it softly. Gerard closed his eyes and exhaled. I pressed my blood stained lips against his cheek, leaving a red mark. "Come here. Let me clean your arm up." I said, standing up. He got up and I put his bloody forearm in the sink and turned it on. He winced in pain as the cold water hit him. I cleaned his cuts and bandaged his arm. I probably should've taken him to the hospital, but I didn't want him to be any more uncomfortable. We cleaned up the bathroom, got into pajamas, and crawled into bed. I snuggled up next to Gerard. Then he took my arm, kissed the wound I'd inflicted, and whispered "I'm in love with you too."