Actually A: Where Did You Hide Yourself?

Introduction

First off, a huge thank you to KTHanna for designing this amazing cover. I literally burst into tears when I saw it. You should check out her writing. She's amazing.

Anyway, this whole project is just something that popped into my head. Recent life changes have put me into a weird space and I have a lot of time to think. One of the biggest changes was being diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 (Asperger's). This diagnosis has literally changed my perception of myself, my childhood, and my life. It has given me a "why" to many of the questions that have plagued me since I can remember.

In addition, I have had the opportunity to connect with people who think and understand me on a level I never thought possible. It's a weird space to be in, being understood and yet not understanding myself. So, I guess this is an attempt to understand and maybe help someone along the way. Someone who, like me, feels out of sync with the world. If one person relates to this, then I have done the right thing.

You might be going "but I thought the purpose was to understand yourself." Yes, it is but for me, it's more about reaching out to others who may have similar experiences and are searching for "why." Also, I've struggled with writing in general and I'm hoping this will help break that. So, I do have my own ulterior motives. :)

As far as organizing this. There isn't going to be any structure. I'm going to devote each chapter to a topic as it comes to me. I need to do this so that my brain can do what it does best, find meaning in the meaningless, the obscure, the strange. This is for me, but it is also for you, the reader. I hope it helps you see the world of autism differently.

WARNING: I'm not going to pull punches on this. So expect triggers for abuse, substance abuse, neglect, depression, mental illness, bullying.

NOTE: These are my experiences and thoughts. They are not indicative of any larger group. My autism is different than others (as all experiences are). So if this doesn't line up with your thoughts and ideas, please remain respectful.