What Now

Building a Dream

I started helping with events right out of high school, starting off in rentals in Marin County. Then moved on to bookkeeping after a few years in college. I played around with events as the church lady till Billy was born. At that point I realized my time was worth more than the Church was paying me. In 2008 the recession hit our family hard. My bookkeeping hours had been cut so much it didn't make since to keep commuting 45 minutes each way to work.

Luckily enough I was able to get a part time job back in the event rental world, but in my home town. This was a dream because Billy had just started Kindergarden and Shea was just turning two. This meant I could help in class one day a week and be a quick drive from my babies.

As I was working in rentals I would walk clients through their events and their needs and give referrals but I wouldn't get to see the event on the day of. I didn't know many planners in the area, so I started handing events off to a friend of mine who I knew from 20-30 and who was doing floral arrangements for events. About 2011 she asked me to help her with her wedding season.

My bookkeeping type A brain loves the logistics while her creative brain loved designing events. After a busy season we hit burnout, under charging, not getting our ideal clients, and it took a toll on my partners health. I still enjoyed weddings but knew I needed it to be worth the time away from my family.

I found another bookkeeping job, but it was short lived, not telling me that it was seasonal when I was hired I found myself out of work for nine months. During this time I kept networking with the people I had met over the last few years and finally figured it couldn't hurt anything to try my hand at creating my own business, charging more, and roping Mike into working these events with me.

Four months later I got a call back for another part time bookkeeping job. This was a dream, I could drop the boys off to school and be off in time to pick them up. I'd also have weekends off so I could still grow Warner's Whole Heart Events. I'd network and grow this business for three years, before Billy was diagnosed. The event industry had opportunities for my quiet husband to come to a few things with me, and on occasion the boys too. Building a business is about more than small talk, it's relationships, it's follow through, and hard work. We earned a good reputation, side by side as a family.

Little did I know these same people would help me plan the hardest event of my life. This community of friends were there to capture the final moments of Billy's life with his family. They covered weddings I couldn't work when I'd be in the hospital with Billy. They printed photos that hang on my walls today, they fed us, and donated to fundraisers for us. And yes they tried to get me to sit the hell down on the day of Billy's memorial and just experience it. One friend even flew up from LA to just help be my second brain as we only had 10 days to pull it all together.

This dream is not dead, but I have come to peace with the fact that I am a different person, with different priorities now. I will work weddings and events that inspire me, if I am lucky enough for them to want me. It is not failure to chase a new dream, despite not growing my old one to the point I had hoped, it is evolution, and growth.