A/N: Someone, anyone, bring me to life with a comment!! ( ；∀ ；)
“Wait, really!?!” Jungguk asked, hopping off the dead zombie with a giddy bunny smile on his face.
Closing his eyes, Taehyung took a deep breath before he shoved the zombie off of his body with a grunt. Sitting up now, Taehyung smiled sweetly at Jungguk, crooking a finger in his direction in a universal ‘come hither’ motion.
Eagerly, Jungguk moved close to him, not noticing or not minding the stinky maroon zombie blood splattered all over his hyung’s face and neck.
“Jungguk,” Taehyung breathed, fluttering his lashes. Jungguk gulped and thanked god, he wasn’t going to die a virgin now—
“GAhwK!” Jungguk squawked once Taehyung’s long fingers were wrapped around his throat.
“YOU LITTLE SHIT!! DO YOU KNOW HOW CLOSE I WAS TO DYING!??! I HAD A ZOMBIE ALL UP IN MY TIDDIES AND YOU WANNA FUCK NOW! HELL TO THE NO BOI, I DON’T SCREW HORNY RABBITS WHO SHOVE ZOMBIES AT ME!!”
To add to the gravity of the situation, Taehyung began shaking Jungguk, shouting in frustration at him, but only getting angrier because his insults and curses came out jumbled together in his hysterical state.
Strong wiry arms were wrapped around his waist from behind and with strength that completely didn’t match his petite frame, Yoongi was yanking Taehyung off of Jungguk, who was looking a little red and purple at this point. Namjoon fumbled over the fence and tripped over the metal flower pot, falling onto the zombie in the sixty-nine position.
Even though he almost died as well (at the hands of a stubbornly hot paranoid human), Jungguk pointed and laughed. “Look, I’m not the only one trying to get in one last fu—”
While Namjoon was screaming in horror and scrambling away from the zombie, face a bright red because he was sure the zombie was a little stiff, Yoongi had loosened his hold on Taehyung and the brunette flew at Jungguk again. This time, Yoongi went with the sanest option and let them handle it on their own, even if he did hear Jungguk choking again and Taehyung laughing manically.
“H-hyung, I’m dirtied, no one will ever marry me now!” Namjoon cried, rubbing his arms and brushing invisible sin off his body, shivers wracking his gangly frame.
“Of all the people…” Yoongi muttered to himself, walking further into the backyard and grabbing the green hose coiled neatly and hung on the side of the house. With a simple flick of his fingers, the water hose was on and the water jet setting was used to smack both Taehyung and Jungguk in the face, making them both gurgle on the water and spring apart. Seeing how effective his new weapon was, Yoongi smirked to himself and turned to Namjoon, who was already huddled in the corner and using a flower pot to shield himself.
Yoongi cackled, turning the water spigot up higher so that the water jet became a mini water cannon.
“Hands and knees, Joon.”
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Namjoon sniffled. “I hate you, hyung.”
After the whole debacle with the soldier boy zombie and Jungguk nearly being the last human homicide victim, the group had carefully checked for any other zombies and made their was further up the street until they found a decent house that had the front door unlocked and a back door that wasn’t made of glass or capable of sliding to the side to let anything with a working brain and thumbs in. They were all huddled in the kitchen, the stove on and the little flame heating up a can of soup meant for all of them. As punishment for acting so reckless while saving Taehyung (who was the first to strip down and check for bite marks), Jungguk was put on duty to heat up some kimchi fried rice leftovers they found in the fridge. Meat was sizzling away on the other two burners and Jungguk was being a dutiful maknae as he flipped the meat and cooked it up for once.
