Two words that define me? HOT MESS. Hot not so much but the mess part I was made for. When I was a child I has some... weight problems. It always changed I was skinny one summer but chunky the next. It was a crazy ride, but I've lived through it so much it's become normal. I'm going through one of the rides again I'm now 105 pounds and looking skinnier than any stick. Now it's mid-January and I'm shivering because my jacket is too big. I just turned 16 a few days ago and I didn't get any good wishes, a side of being a loner my birthday was completely over-shadowed my Jenica Howards birthday. The funny thing is that her birthday was ten days before mine and the partying was still going on. I should be out now hanging out with whatever friends I should have. "Why don't you go out Erica?" I sighed, when will she stop asking me that? "I tell you ever week you ask me this mom I have no friends, not one." I rolled my eyes and went up to my room. That woman when will she stop? I don't care if she had 100 plus friends in high school, it's not my fault I'm like this if anything it's her fault! She just could help but having a child. I heard the door open, great dad's home maybe he'll stop mom from chewing me out again. I opened my laptop and began to type into my virtual diary, trust me I've tried to find a better use for my computer.
March 23rd, 2012
She's doing it again, she's calling me out asking me why I don't have friends. She's mocking me I know it. This is all Jenica's fault, while I'm all alone she's parting with her friends when her birthday was the 10th! If this is how life is it's quite cruel. Her perfect hair, perfect boyfriend, perfect parents and house. She makes me sick. *Sigh* Calm down 'Rica calm yourself. Don't do anything stupid, you might start blogging again and that won't be good for anyone. If I could have one day then I could change the world. I know I could, if God will give me that chance.
I slept that night dreaming of what it would be in Jenica's shoes.
The next day I woke up in a room other than mine, I started to laugh like I had heard the funniest joke in the world for no reason. As soon I got off the bed there was a sharp pain in my back, when I put my hand over my back I felt my back was much bonier than before. That was weird I may be skinny but I do not have a bony figure because of all the weight changes. Once I put my clothes on I noticed that they were all so tight. Then I looked in the mirror and almost fainted with astonishment, I looked exactly like Jenica! I looked around again, this was definitely not my room. What was going on? I went downstairs and noticed that I was the only one home, I was extremely hungry and I went to go eat a full meal. After my meal I had felt sick to my stomach and I threw up everything I ate. How does Jenica eat like that? I decided that I would look around. Jenica had so many books in her room even though I had found them under her bed hidden away. Edgar Allen Poe, Shakespeare, Kelley Armstrong and Stephen King. All my favorite writers, it was a shame they were under her bed. After snooping through her room I saw her computer I was surprised when I saw that she had no password. I looked on to word and saw her writing.
March 23rd,2012.
I knew it, I knew it! He was cheating on me, Jason was cheating on me! I hate him so much, I never liked him anyway I just needed him to get popular. Now that’s all done I’ll throw him in the trash! This popular thing isn’t really what I had thought it to be it’s too much work. I don’t have anything in common with anyone and all they ever talk about is clothes and shoes. I liked the way things were when I was alone, things were much easier then. My body has become a skinny death trap, I have to wear all the “cool” clothes in a size 0 and it hurts to starve myself like this. The other thing they have me do is make fun of others. They made me talk smack about Erica Rowing all yesterday. I like her clothes and she’s good at English. I WOULD LOVE TO SWITCH PLACES WITH HER. Not give a single thing about what others care and be me. The old me, too late now I guess.
I stared at that screen for what seemed like an eternity, so Jenica wanted to be me? I started to cry, I felt like we were in the same boat for a second there. But that can’t be can it…? Jenica wanting to be like me, it had always been the other way around.
I cried myself asleep that night.
The next morning I woke up myself, in my old room with my old bulky clothes and weird misshapen body. I got some clothes and ran out. “Erica honey where are you going?” she called after me. I smiled and replied, “To go get a friend.”
