Max's Last Farewell || Camp Camp one shot

Max's Last Farewell

The oldest a camper can be at Camp Campbell is fourteen. Max is fourteen, hanging by a cliff's edge until next Monday: tomorrow. Ironically, Monday is also a week before Camp Campbell's Camp Camp wraps up for the upcoming school year. In layman's terms, Max has a week and a day left of suffering through idiotic tasks, imbecile campers, and excruciatingly annoying camp counselors. Especially David. Oh, how Max itches to see David left behind in the dust. All these summers come and passed, and it's finally here: Max's ascension from hell.

That's when a car pulls in front of the mess hall. Max startles when Nikki - who previously sat to the right of him and Neil - leaps from her seat and onto the table.

"Fuck, Nikki," Neil's thick, brown eyebrows bunch together to create a bird's nest below his forehead, "your poop-covered shoe is mashing my potatoes."

"I wouldn't worry about it," Max says through a mouthful of food, "with how it tastes, I wouldn't be surprised to find the Quartermaster crapping on our food before serving it. Call it leftovers."

"My mom is here," Nikki shouts, sending Neil's tray crashing to the ground as she bolts forward.

"Great. Just, wonderful," Neil flails his twig-like arms in the air as Nikki disappears behind the mess hall door. "Why do my lunches always end up on the floor? I know I'm a man of science, but come on. It's the twenty first century; shouldn't there be more creative ways to burn off one's bottled aggression?"

"Oh my," David exclaims, popping up from behind Max and Neil out of nowhere, "Nikki's Mom is here already? But we still have another whole week left of camp."

From outside, Nikki's Mom honks her horn. "Nicolette, I have a surprise," she hollers through her wound down window.

Neil stands. Max grabs his arm. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Nikki is leaving. Maybe for good. Don't you want to say goodbye too?"

"I'm better suited for the indoors."

Neil rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue. "Of course not. You're Max. I forgot who I was talking to for a second. All these years, and you haven't changed for shit."

Neil breaks free from Max's grasp and joins his other friend outside. Max pouts as David cups a hand over his shoulder. "Don't worry, Max. Neil seems... agitated today, but that's only because he's sad to see Nikki go."

When Max doesn't respond, David frowns and leaves him alone at the table. When everyone is outside, Max sighs. Through all these pain-filled years, only two campers have stayed with Max through it all. Not Space Kid, not Nerris, not Harrison. Those kids abandoned him ages ago. It has been Neil and Nikki, the only two Max could remotely bare. And now Nikki is going. And soon Neil will follow her.

Max finally gets from his seat to step outside. There, he is greeted by a horrible sight. Nikki's Mom with her arm tight around Neil's Dad's waist. Nikki's Mom is dressed in a lavish, white gown and Neil's Dad sports a handsome, black suit. Behind them, a limousine. Trailing its rear are tin cans held by strings. "Oh, hell no," Max says, stepping between the equally horrified children.

"Well, hiya Neil. We have great news," Neil's Dad raises his hand, where a golden ring gleans on his ring finger.

"We're getting married," Nikki's Mom squeals, wrapping her arms around her husband's shoulders.

"Oh, hell no," Nikki says.

"Oh, hell no," Neil says even louder.

"You two are brother and sister now. Isn't that wonderful?" Neil's Dad announces, hand on his hip. The head of his sock puppet hangs limp from his suit pocket.