Foraine ( Eng)

Chapter 3 : Ne perenni cremer igne

- I think we have she should run tonight.
I shook my head gently:
- Her leg is not solid enough Eliot. And the cold begins to fall. It is bad for her joints.
"Very well," he groaned as he walked away. I'll give you another week. But after that, cured or not she will resume service.
- Did you hear that beautiful, I said gently caressing the mane of the mare. We have a week to finish fixing you.
I looked outside at the trees with browning leaves and shivered: we did leave the south, no doubt about it. After Arkansas, Missouri and finally Illinois. Will it snow? I sighed, thinking about my mother and went back to work.

I found Leaf in his trailer and placed before him the plate that I had taken for him in the place we used as a refectory.
- Do you think we'll have snow? I asked after a long time
He laughed and then replied:
- I do not foresee weather, Snow.

I do not understand this place, I do not recognize it either. From a door in front of me escapes a music like I've never heard: refined, sweet, heady. After a few seconds of hesitation I push the door, the music is too captivating to resist it. Silk rustles, incredible colors from water-green to crimson-red, waxed shoes, people waltzing. It's a ball, I think I'm at a ball. This would explain the masks. All these masks. So many masks. The music rages, I have this imperious urge to dance and ...
I woke up, heart pounding furiously and in my head, slowly fading, the haunting music that drove such a desire to dance.
- Bad dream ? Leaf asked tenderly, chasing a wick from my face
- Not exactly. Then after a long silence. Something else.
Leaf rolled on his back and stretched like a lazy cat. I leaned over him and kissed his neck as he closed his arms around me in a warm, languorous embrace. His hands slid down my back and I sighed.

Illinois was very different from the old south, people here were more urban, less easy to marvel and we must redouble skill and perseverance to attract them to the Carnival of the Fireflies. The boss thinks we need more rides and fewer numbers. But then what would we be without numbers? I smiled when I noticed that the line in front of the Leaf caravan was as long as it always was, no matter the city, no matter the state: after all, who doesn't secretly dream of knowing what their future holds ?
I was so absorbed in the contemplation of Leaf's insatiable clientele that I did not hear them coming.
- You! Yes you. What kind of a monster are you ?
Instinctively, I retreated and lowered my head as a sign of submission. I did not want any trouble
- Come on ! Answer. I don't understand why your parents didn't abandon you when they saw your face.

One of them grabbed me by the arm, laughing. It was impossible to escape them, they were three, they were tall, they were drunk. I knew very well how this story, played a thousand times, was about to end.
- Are you mute, monster?
He tightened the grip on my arm before throwing me to the ground, laughing. Then with sticks they began to prick my arms, legs, chest, giving me a few blows, now and then. I protected my face as much as I possibly could until they grew tired of me.
Suddenly the laughter stoped and when I rose my head I met Nathaniel blood-shot eyes. I hadn't seen him much since the "incident" mostly because he spent most of his time in his trailer drinking and crying .
He grabbed one of the young men and twisted his arm so violently that the latter uttered a shrill cry that sounded more like a squeal than virile bravado. When the other two tried to lend a helping hand to their companions, they soon found themselves on the ground, one bleeding abundantly from the nose, the other the right eye swollen. As soon as the got up they scampered as fast as they could, not without throwing insults, threats and other promises of retaliation in our direction.
I got up feverishly, wiped my trousers as best I could and said in a low voice:
- Thank you
Without a look for me Nathaniel turned his heels and walked away muttering something that sounded like:
"One of ours, one of theirs."

I gently touched my face and realized that I would need care. After a glance at the Leaf's caravan where the wait had not dried up, I decided to go and knock at Elaine's, who did not have a number tonight. She opened the door and, as she saw me, sighed deeply before disappearing to let me in. I apologized a lot, explaining that I did not want to worry Leaf while she was tending to my wounds.
- You have to learn how to stand up for yourself.
- What's the point ?
- You think Leaf can protect you from everything?
- No. No, it's not like that ... "I murmured softly.
She gently put her hand on mine.
"Your color, just like mine, will always be a problem." There will always be people telling us that we are not entitled to the same things, the same rights. Who will treat us differently for who we are. But it is who you are Snow, don't let anyone take it away from you and protect this magnificent body that God has given you. If God made you like this, that's how you should be.
I bowed imperceptibly my head, surprised. I didn't think you could be a carnie and religious. But after all, what did I know?
I thanked Elaine one last time and went back to the dorm I shared from time to time, that is to say when I was not sleeping with Leaf, with the rest of the stable crew. I heard them coming in several hours later, exhausted by their long day, and lie down before falling asleep in less than five minutes.

This desire to dance is so strong, so strong. And all these colors. And the musky and heady smell of the fox woman next to me. I had never seen such a mask : it looked like it was made of hair and pulpit. The black rooster in front of her makes her twirl and his black eyes, as black as his plumage shine between the slits of his mask. The wolf looks up at me and tilts his head. His eyes are so green and his hands gloved black hold a cup of a cloudy liquid. The music races as I move slowly towards the center of the room, the sound is too loud, the eyes are too green, I ...