Of Shattered Hearts And Broken Glass

Chapter 6

During the night I dreamt about me and Tracey's session, except, in stead of Tracey, it kept on switching between Kyle and the new guy. I woke up to the darkness of the night and a boner, not abnormal... it's practically morning, right? I looked at the blue glow of my smartwatch "01:10". I reached for the glass of water next to my bed and took a few gulps, willing myself to go to sleep.

The dream continued. The kissing, the sex, me pleasuring Tracey that changed into Kyle and the de Luca guy getting blow jobs. I weirdly enjoyed the latter instead of the former.

"BZZZZZZZ...BZZZZZZ"

I got woken from the odd dream and felt something.

"BZZZZZZ...BZZ-"

"Fuck!"

My bed was wet and judging from the fact that I was hard, it definitely was not a bladder problem.

I jumped up, not even caring about the time, and took a quick shower. After that I threw my bedding into the washing machine and added an excess amount of detergent, then pressed start.

I got dressed, jumped into my car and drove off to school. Not even bothering with the time. I arrived at school and it was very quiet. Peering down at my watch, I realised that I was early, way too early. My watch said it was 06:45.

Seems like I woke on time without realising it and did everything faster than usual, due to the anxiety of this mornings erm... situation.

Since I had nothing to do and hadn't eaten breakfast yet, I drove to the Mcdonalds nearby.

The parking lot was empty, except for a run down white Honda Civic parked in the far corner.

I parked, climbed out and went in. To my surprise, it was empty although there was a steaming burger on one of the tables, person's probably in the toilet. I order a double quarter pounder with cheese -and extra cheese- with a side of large fries, my regular. After receiving my order, I chose a table in the far back of the restaurant. I didn't feel like peering eyes all around me or company as soon as the place started filling up, which it would probably soon enough, not that I was planning on staying for too long.

As I munched in my meal, my mind drifted off.

It's a good thing that Tracey didn't see my scars on my thighs, she would've killed me if she did. Then again, those fresh cuts are unmissable, maybe she just doesn't care? Nah, I'm sure she just didn't notice. Tracey loves me -whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night.

I brushed off my subconscious' comment and tried to think about school, but my mind just went on to the next weird thing -that seems to be becoming more and more by the second, lately.

Why did I like looking at Ky-

No. Not thinking 'bout that.

-le and Domin-

Fuck Off, mind.

-ick. Why was the dream enjoyable, why only the last part and not the first part with Tracey? Wtf is happening to me?

Maybe you're ga-

Fuck off. I am not ga- like that. I like girls. Sex with Tracey was amazing, this must just be a phase or some bodily urge. The other day I found myself inadvertently googling "Am I gay", while being bored and browsing on the internet, I cringed when I realised what I was doing, but read on anyway. It said that it is normal for guys to become curious during teenage years, so I guess I am normal.

Right? Am I normal? What is normal? Is being ga- liking anything other than girls really wrong?

Get a grip, you're not g-