I'm Breathing

Chapter Five

Waking up the next morning was confusing and difficult. I was groggy, and I didn't remember much of my night before. I sat up in bed, stretching, trying to recollect my thoughts.

That was when it hit me.

My mood came crashing down on me and I knew I needed to get to Autumn as soon as possible. I ran to my closet, pulled on a pair of tennis shoes, and ran out of my bedroom. I ignored my mother, who was in the kitchen drinking coffee with a man I despised. I didn't have any time to worry about her right now. I sprinted out the door, and ran the entire way to Autumn's house.

It was early, but not too early. I knew her family would already be awake. I knocked on the door and waited, catching my breath. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail to clear the sweat from my neck. I made it low enough to cover the bruises.

This time, it was Autumn who answered the door and I was ever so grateful for it. Before she could say anything, I walked into her house, greeting her parents, then walking directly to her room. When she followed me in, I closed the door and moved to sit on her bed. The room looked the same as yesterday, except her unmade bed. My clothes were still in a pile on the floor.

Autumn started asking me questions the second I sat down.

"Cammie, what is wrong? Can you talk to me? What happened last night, are you okay?"

I didn't know how to answer all of them, so I turned to her and gave her a look that said she needed to shut up. She recognized this look and stopped talking, her eyes full of concern. She had her full attention on me.

That was when I realized I didn't have a clue what to tell her. It was a Saturday morning, and I had been abused the night before. But I couldn't tell her that, could I? My words caught in my throat, and I froze, unsure of what to say.

She waited patiently. I blinked several times, and then finally spoke up.

"Nothing's wrong. I mean, given the situation, I'm perfectly fine." I told her.

"Did you and your mom fight again?" she asked me.

I laughed. Oh, Autumn. It was so much more than that, and I didn't know how to tell her. My smile automatically disappeared and turned into a grimace. I didn't know how to say the words out loud, but I knew I needed to. I couldn't keep this to myself.

"No. It's not my mom. It's.. Uh.." I couldn't figure out how to word it.

"Was it something that happened last night?" she asked hesitantly.

I nodded, still wary about how to speak. "Avery didn't drop me off at home. We went through the field by my house." I said.

She frowned at this. "Woah, like, you agreed to it?"

I nodded.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Wow. Cam, that's great, did you have fun?"

"Yes!" I told her, recalling the night before. "It was a lot of fun. And then we stopped to lay out a blanket and-"

"Hold on a second!" she interrupted. "You... and Avery.. did you have sex with him?!" she accused, a little too loudly.

"SH! Autumn." I scolded her. 

"Sorry.. But did you??"

I paused. "No, we did not have sex. But..."

"But..?" she wondered.

I gave her a look that said everything. Suddenly, her eyes filled with realization. It took her a moment to react, but then the concern hit.

"Oh my god! Cameron Evans, are you okay? Did he.. I mean, are you..-"

"I'm fine." I interrupted her. "I'm perfectly fine, he didn't get that far. There was a guy.." I trailed off.

She raised an eyebrows. "You're confusing me. Tell me what happened."

So I did. I told her every detail of what happened, ignoring her reactions to the harsher parts. She was so innocent, the idea of this to her was completely foreign. But I didn't hide anything from her.

And finally, when I finished, she took a deep breath and sat there for a while, taking all of it in.

"So.." she said. "Who is Brandon Cayson, anyways?"

That confused me, too. He had looked very familiar, but I didn't know him by name. He probably went to school with us, and I had seen him around. I didn't get much of a chance to thank him appropriately, and I knew I needed to. He really had saved me from the unimaginable.. I didn't know what Avery was capable of, that was for sure. I was just thankful I hadn't stuck around to find out.

"I don't know." I told her honestly. "But I'm gonna find out on Monday."

"But, are you okay? I mean, I can't even imagine.." she looked at me with worry-filled eyes.

I smiled at her. "I really am fine." I told her. And I was. As much as the previous night had traumatized me, I was letting it go. I didn't know how to face Avery in my classes at school, but he wouldn't try anything in public with people around. I just needed to avoid him, that was a ground rule.

"I'm gonna be fine." I told her. "I really just came here to tell you, and to get my stuff."

"So you're going home?" she asked.

"Yeah.." I said. "I need to talk to my mom."

"Are you going to tell her?" she asked in alarm.

"Hell no, I'm not. She hasn't earned the mother title back in my life just yet. But I do need to mend what happened the other night. I'm sure she has plenty to tell me about her date with Goeffrey." I made a throwing up motion and Autumn laughed.

I gathered up my stuff and Autumn walked me to the door. I said bye to her mom, who was busy working with her new designs. Her dad wasn't around this time. I left, and walked back home, dreading what I had to face when I got there.