irresistible | kth

nineteen

we had been sitting on the hospital room for god knows how long.

taehyung laid his head on my shoulder and i let him, rubbing his shoulder in a comforting manner. they couldn't tell us anything about his mother, and they wouldn't let either taehyung or his father see her. i bit my lip as i saw the expression on taehyung's face. never had i seen him this sad.

"it's going to be okay, she'll be okay, i know it," i promised him, for the hundredth time that day. and even though i didn't know that for sure, i was going to make sure i'd reassure him as much as i could. i hoped it would make a difference.

although i didn't know what was going on, i didn't dare to ask. i knew it hadn't been an accident, because taehyung's expression read otherwise. it was almost as if he had been expecting this, yet he still didn't want to accept or believe it.

"do you want something to eat?" i asked as he shook his head. it was well past five in the afternoon, and the only thing he had eaten had been the breakfast i had made for him. "well you're going to eat anyway."

i stood up and walked towards the nearest vending machine, putting some coins in and picking two chocolate bars. i knew he wouldn't refuse chocolate. no one refuses chocolate.

when i walked back up to him, i showed him the chocolate bar. he looked up at me, his eyes as lifeless as i had ever seen them. he shook his head.

i sat down next to him and tore the package open. i gave him a look, pursing my lips. "please?"

he let out a sigh and finally bit on the chocolate bar as i pressed it to his lips. "thank you," he muttered as i handed him the rest of the bar. i simply rubbed his shoulder.

"don't thank me, i just want to make sure you're okay," i whispered back. it was as if you could see and feel his pain through his eyes. he was so worried, yet he tried to maintain a straight face. however, i had always been good at reading people and at seeing where their heart was. and right now, his was clenching with worry.

"if i tell you something, you promise to keep it a secret?" he asked, grabbing my hand. i nodded.

"of course."

"my mom," he began, pausing to take a deep breath. "she's been ill for a while. she was diagnosed with chronic leukaemia about a year ago. she's been struggling with it ever since," he explained. i gripped his hand tighter.

"she'll sometimes have episodes like this, but never as serious as today was... she's never had to come to the hospital on an emergency," his bottom lip started to quiver. "it's just... chemotherapy has helped but at the same time it's made her so weak, that she can barely leave the house to work. all she can do is work from home, sometimes, and then she occupies herself with those roses."

it dawned on me that that was the reason why he was so defensive when he thought i was stealing them. he was just trying to protect his mother's work, her most prized thing. i frowned.

"is that why... you got so upset with me when you thought i was stealing those roses?"

"yes," he nodded, showing me a small smile. "it might sound silly, but i was afraid my mother would feel sad to see it. and that's the last thing i want for her."

i laced my fingers with his. "it's not silly. you were looking out for your mother. i think that's very nice of you."

he turned his head to look at me. his eyes locked with mine as he let out a sigh. "i've never had someone i could talk to about all of this without being afraid they'd judge me."

i bit my bottom lip. he looked so vulnerable, so unlike him. i moved one of my hands up his arm, holding on to his bicep as my other hand still held on to his. "i'm here, i'll never judge you. you can trust me on that."