Evolution

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Is there such a thing as uncivilized behavior in a world without a civilization? The things you do is neither right or wrong, simply done for the pleasure of doing it.  This was one of the few things Jedd could truly enjoy about the futile existence he was thrust into.

He savored few things as much as he savored this very moment. He rubbed his eyes and felt his weary legs threaten mutiny, but this had to be done. He seen the “Welcome to Illinois” sign sing in the daylight and knew what was directly across the deserted highway. He walked over to it and stared at it with a devilish smirk. Jedd waited for thirty minutes, Using willpower alone to conjure up mystical golden juices straight from his dehydrated blatter, but it was so worth it to him.

Uncivilized? Hell no! I make the rules now and as King Jedd, I proclaim this to be the official pissing spot for the entire United States. He stared at the “Now entering Missouri” sign  and watched the dry wooden post become damp as his urine decorated it proudly.  Upon finishing he lifted his head to the heavens and screamed a savage scream of pleasure. Almost intent on showing the madness that plagues him daily.

“You see Momma? You see I made It! I am the King now. I know the secret and now one else does!”

Jedd lowers his weary body to the concrete and smashes an ant to mashed taters with his makeshift human flesh sword. His eyes dart back and forth, looking for signs of intruders, signs of life, signs of thieves out to steal his meal. 

“IT’S MINE! I’M KING!” He screams at no one in particular

Licking his finger, he smashes his index into the mush and sucks the dirt and the meat off slowly. Jedd holds the arm and sniffs it. The rotting flesh eminates an odor foul enough to churn even his cast iron intestines. 

With a mighty effort, he casts his meat sword into the wild, a treat for the pods. Panic rises deep within Jedd. He feels naked now. For days he has wielded that meat sword, for days it has been a part of him. What if he can’t find another one?

He drops to his knees, and slowly writes a language only a King could possible understand. A reminder and a threat to all that shall pass through his current kingdom. His finger first slowly draws a three. Counting the amount of Oak trees he sees he looks to the dirt. NO! not dirt. Tablet.

He looks to his holy tablet, and moves his slender finger over an inch and concentrates hard. He draws a circle with a thumb print and finally simply spits next to it. Stepping back he smiles and admires his own brilliance.

“You truly are a wise king Jedd. All hail the wisdom of our king! Thank you, One and all, As your king I have marked the exact location of Excalibur for all to see! Upon a war any who shall wield it properly will be granted the power of a King! But be warned only those wise enough to read these words shall know its location.”  His voice echoes into the nothingness as he speaks

His eyes proudly lower from the invisible crowd of peasants and he examines the landscape for accuracy. Looking upon his glorious tablet he reads in a loud commanding voice, letting it boom for all to hear his words.

“ Three! Circle thumb! And finally…Spit!” he says proudly

His stomach growls like a wolf at its prey. The sudden kick to the stomach as hunger makes itself apparent startles him. 

“How dare you attack a king! Come back here villain!” 

Jedd feels a sudden urge to run. Not run, rather chase the villain lovingly named hunger. His long strides creates plumbs of dirt, filling the atmosphere with a foggy layer of brown murk. He darts between Illinois and back into Missouri. He tries his best to decide if the meat would taste better in a new state or if he should stick to what he knows and only eat Missouri meat. He feels the hunger soccer kick him in the gut once more, falling to his knees this time he stays kneeled.

“What have you villain? You got a king to bow before you, name your price! Oh you’re a tricky one, You deviant asshole! You want my sacred meat?  Can you read Jeddology script? That’s right you can’t kill me because you don’t know where it’s located. But…if you are game to a truce, I will hand over the holy meat and we you can feast with a king! What do you say?” 

He stays kneeled and pulls a lighter from his pocket. The holy fire granted to only kings of this land. Cupping his hands over the small metal tip he pauses and looks up.

“You do NOT have permission to gaze upon the holy flame. Do you understand?”

Smiling, he lights a small fire and laughs raucously as the leaves and twigs burn bright.  

“You know what villain? You are okay. No really, you are! I tell you what, I shall make you king as well. We will stay right here and you will rule the great land of Missouri and I shall proclaim myself King of Illinois. Together we shall rule supreme! Now to only teach you  Jeddology script. Three. Circle Thumb. Spit!”

Jedd watches the flies dance around the rotting meat and screams at them. 

“MINE!”

With little effort he drags the arm back to the fire and thrusts it into the holy flame, cooking the feast for the two kings. The dirt sizzles and the smell penetrates the ozone, but a promise is a promise and King Jedd WILL feast with King Hunger on this day!