Evolution

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

I thought It was another delusion. It seemed so odd, much stranger than anything conjured up by my feverish imagination. We were stopped just outside of Missouri by what appeared to be a man wearing a live turtle for a hat.  Alex and Boomer seemed excited by the notion of more survivors, but me…I was scared. This one was defective.

I remember before the world became a jungle, How my mother used save the receipts to every purchase, telling me that sometimes you have to return the broken items that slipped through the quality assurance cracks.  I feel my eyes burn and I strain to listen to the conversation happening between this odd creature and poor Alex. I can see the thin string used to tie the turtle to his head flapping gently in the breeze.  His voice rose to a boom, his slow southern drawl had a moonshine and banjo quality to it. 

“GET OFF THE GRASS!”  

I watched Alex flinch at the abrupt command, looking confused at the acres upon acres of lush greenery she now stood on. The funny man seemed agitated and paced back and forth. Trying to decide if we were friends or foe.

“E-Excuse me sir, I don’t understand where to stand.” 

I felt trouble deep in my belly, I knew something was not quite right about this situation. Slowly, I struggled to climb out of the back of the truck. My legs wobbled, my spine seemed to reject the notion of an upright position, and my stomach wanted to eject every bit of  substance that filled it.

“I SAID GET OFF THE GRASS! DON’T MAKE ME SEND PRINCE SHELDON DOWN THERE! YOU HEARD ME! GO ON…GIT!”  he screamed.

Alex whimpered. She stood frozen in fear. I watched Boomers arm shoot out protectively, trying to cradle her. Trying to stop whatever may come her way. But what? None of us knew what to do. I swallowed hard, trying to be the strong voice of reason.

“SIR. EXCUSE ME SIR. WE ARE JUST TRYING TO PASS THROUGH. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO NOT STAND ON THE GRASS.” I yelled from the passenger side of the truck.

The moment of silence seemed unbearable, like a spark on dry tender, slowly trying to raise a flame and building into something huge and devastating. His voice was surprisingly calm and flat, void of any emotion.

“I know that son. I’m not a moron! I was talking to the dandelions.” 

His eyes darted back and forth, from Alex, through Boomer, then stared directly at me. I felt an uneasy stream babble through the brook of my soul. His voice lowered. Almost too low, like we were long time chums and he had to share something profound.

“The dandelions are plotting an uprising. They tried this before, almost won too, I reckon I would have lost my life if prince Sheldon here didn’t save me. Ain’t that right buddy?”

 A smile crossed his face as he patted the hard shell of his box turtle hat.

I slowly made my way to Alex, her face was starting to regain its color but confusion  permeated from her eyes. The soft voices and calm conversation seemed to help.  We could hear the pod creatures off in the distance, howls. Loud stomping sounds, and the occasional wet crunch of new creatures being brought into this world. 

“We got to keep moving guys!. Sir, HELLO…sir. My name is Trevor and this is Alex and Boomer. We are trying to get through and we don’t have a lot of time. Can you help us? We need food. Do you have anything to eat?” 

I heard Boomers stomach growl, adding pronunciation to my thoughts. 

“Yea I got some food. I got good food. The food you eat even.” He smile was crooked and his eyes shot up into the sky

“We got guests Ma! Yeah Yeah I’ll mind my manners. No I won’t. Why do you even got to bring that up to our guests? Sheesh, you make one mistake and you never live it down. IT WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO LET IT GO ALREADY!” 

I could feel Alex’s hesitation. I wished I had that receipt. His eyes focused on us and his voice seemed friendlier. 

“I am Chief Jedd, Former King of this land until the dandelion people reared their vicious yellow heads. There was just too many of them…growing like weeds, I couldn’t stop them! This is Prince Sheldon and that puffy cloud up there shaped like a wrinkled up raisin…that’s Ma! You are too a wrinkled up raisin! I do love you though. Bah! Ignore her, Ma is a little angry about me losing my kingdom to the dandelions.” 

 He paused for just a second and then suddenly untied “Prince Sheldon”. For a solid two minutes, he stood still and not a word was uttered. He just held the turtle, as if it was a treasured family heirloom. Then suddenly, to our horror, he threw the turtle as hard as he could at the ditch. It’s shell bounced off of the ground and the reptile slide into the trench. We watched as its legs and head darted out of its shell, and it tried to escape its miserable life as Prince Sheldon the hat.

“YOU SEE THAT? I TOLD YOU TO GET OFF OF THE GRASS. OH YOU GUYS ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE. HE WILL RETURN YOU KNOW. HE WILL RETURN WITH AN ARMY AND YOU GUYS WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO GIVE ME BACK MY KINGDOM. LOOK! ARE YOU WATCHING? HE’S RUNNING!”

We stared at the turtle confused, watching it slowly creep along the ditch.  A wolf howls, its long unnatural sound fills the day. My stomach growled and I felt weak. Staring at the man, I knew…It was gonna be a very long night.