ROGER (Read Until 7/31)

T H I R T E E N

What ends smiles? Dampers happiness? Fear, anger, betrayal. Those are the emotions that could snatch a smile off anyone's face and toss it into the black void that devours the universe whole.

I wasn't sure which emotion I felt when I opened my eyes the following day, but I was sure my returned happiness was being fed to a mythological beast one could only find in movies.

For fifteen minutes, I wasn't sure if I could get it back.

According to the screen that hung on the wall beside my bed, it was early Saturday morning, approximately 3:54 A.M. Three thuds outside my door made me stand; three more thuds and a grunt had me rush to pull it open. When light flooded the shadows of my room, my eyes followed the trail of blood and dirt as Xerses' unconscious body was dragged through the hall.

The sight sent me into a panic. I ran out of my room, barefooted and barely clothed, and let my fist fly at anyone who came at me. I hit Matthews first, then Erica.

My voice rang in my ears as I shouted at them. "You fucking liars!"

But nothing stopped the Peace members from tossing my best friend's body into a room not too far from mine. They locked it, secured it, and looked at me in disbelief.

"She can't be serious," one of them said to the other. Their partner had no response.

I, on the other hand, had many words for them. And I let them have it until Douglas' arms wrapped around my waist to pull me back.

"Relax," he hissed in my ear as my kicking feet dragged along the cold tile. "Stop yelling."

"No!"

I reached back with my elbow and caught him in the cheek. His shout was enough to bring Matthews back from where I'd pushed him; he wrapped his strong arms around my legs to keep me still. Yet I tried anyway. I bucked against his hold, punched at his arms, and though he drew his head as far back as he could, my knuckles met his lip.

"You said you were going to keep him safe!" I shouted at both of them. "You swore you wouldn't hurt him. You killed him, you fucking killed him!"

By the time I was thrown back on my bed, tears welled up like pools in my eyes. Matthews didn't look at me as he rubbed his face and backed out into the hall, but Douglas did. He let his eyes scan over me, his tongue licking blood from his bottom lip.

"He isn't dead." His hand gripped the doorknob. "Only sedated. You need to sleep."

Sleep. I couldn't sleep. Even as he slammed my door shut and locked it, it wouldn't stop me. I jumped off my bed, slid across the floor, and tugged at the doorknob until my hands were beet red and sore. My eyes were puffy, my cheeks pink. Someone had to open the door; someone needed to let me out.

I wanted Xerses.

I needed to know he was all right.

♦

"Clara?"

I wasn't sure when I'd fallen asleep. By the time I heard Roger's voice, sunlight shined through my window with rays broken by cloudy skies. I watched the gentle light touch my legs, its warmth pushing the cold back into my bloodstream.

My mouth was dry when I opened it.

"Clara, why are you on the floor?" Roger's voice was soft in my ear.

Tears found their way into my eyes again and I sniffed. "Xerses," I struggled to say. "They... they hurt Xerses."

A warmness spread across my cheek and for some reason I turned my face towards it.