What Could Have Been (Lucaya)

He Noticed Her

She was beautiful. The way her nose crinkled when she laughed. The way the sun would hit her just right so her long blonde hair appeared to be like a halo on top of her head. The hue of pink on her cheeks whenever someone complimented her because she didn't receive them as often as she deserved. The way her fingers moved the brush between her fingers as she painted. Sometimes when she was fully entranced into what she was painting she would forget the paint on her finger tips and it would smear on her face that she would later wash off with mild annoyance. The way she was so blindingly loyal to her friends that she would do anything for them. Yes, she was beautiful in more ways than one.

Her beauty wasn't limited to when she was just happy. She was even more beautiful when her face was laced with lingering sadness. The unshed tears pooling in her eyes, waiting to fall into perfect water droplets down her rosy cheeks. How she would avert her eyes to pull herself together momentarily then hold her head high as if nothing happened. The hint of a pout on her lips... she was beautiful.

He didn't know when he had first noticed her. Maybe it was the day on the subway, how her fiery personality shone through that day. He remembered being intrigued by her. Shocked that she had noticed him look her way and go up to him. Softly he shook his head. No, he didn't really notice her then.

It may had been the day her happiness was being threatened from her and she had willingly accepted it. As if she known that sooner or later it would have happened. As if she didn't deserve the good things in her life and the happiness it brought her. At the moment he was just angry at that school for taking away the arts. She was his friend and he always would do anything for them. So it was inevitable that he had spoke about it to Mr.Mathews during class. And when he had found himself starting to address Maya, looking in her wide blue eyes, it felt more than just defending a friend. It was as if he was starting to see her.

Maybe it was when they had went to Texas and she had walked into the living room with Riley. He thought she looked beautiful then, like Texas somehow fit her. Then she saw the bull and basically threatened him to back out or she wouldn't speak to him again. A voice in his head was screaming at him to 'take off the stupid clothes' as she so lightly put it and leave with her. But Papi Joe always told him to face his fears. He didn't want to feel like he was disappointing him again nor Riley who had so much faith in him. He didn't want to let her down when she thought so much of him. Like he was someone bigger and better than who he actually was and for once he wanted to actually feel like he was that person she thought of.

Maybe it was when Riley left the two of them alone in the campfire. How he stared at her from across the fire even though it had annoyed her. He remembered looking at her, the light that gently caressed her face flickered as the fire crackled in the background. Soft tendril curls resting on her face she either must have not noticed or chose to ignore. When he had her face in between his hands he remembered how dainty it was. How much shorter she was compared to him.

For the first time he had realized she wasn't this big strong girl who teased him. As ridiculous as it sounds she was just a girl. Not that he didn't know she was a girl before but compared to Riley she definitely wasn't this sunshine skipping girl who made heart eyes at him. But then there she was standing right in front of him. Staring at him with eyes wide open, her head between his hands, the gasp emitting from her rose stained lips... she was literally within his grasp. And by damn, it had scared him. In a way she had always scared him but in that moment he knew one move could change everything. He had fate in his hands and he had done nothing.

Hell it might have been the times he had to see Zay with her. He knew they were nothing more than friends, that Zay only went on dates with Maya because he was going on dates with Riley, but it had bothered him. More than it should have since he was with Riley. Not that she didn't notice the way he had stared too long at the casual arm Zay had thrown around Maya. Riley could be perceptive when she wanted to be and this was one of those times.