Nobody's kissed my scars

Chapter 3

A/n WARNING: some triggering scenes in this chapter!
(In the media is Phenix's body. I'll eventually put background info later on.)

CHAPTER 3
I couldn't stop smiling the whole way home. That is until I thought about home.

I knew I'd have to most likely face my drunken father. But maybe for once he wasn't drunk. That was over wishing it.

"See you tonight, gorgeous" Blare giggled as I dropped her off.

"Bye B" I called, putting on my best fake smile as I thought of home.

I parked my car in the back like I was always told to do and to the back door. I carefully and quietly opened it and walked into the kitchen, quietly closing the door behind me.

But as I was walking to the stair...

"Phenix!!!! Where are you? You whore!" Yes that's how my father was. What good father calls his daughter whore?

I timidly walked into the kitchen too bump into my drunken father barely standing up as it was.

"I-I'm so-sorr-" I started but never finished as the drunk man grabbed my wrist, opening the fresh wounds from last night and kneeing me over and over again in the stomach. I whimpered biting my lip in pain, trying to keep my cries in. he threw me to the grounds and chuckled lowly before speaking.

"I hope you'll think twice before touching me again" then he walked away out the door, probably for the bar again.

I hoisted myself up by the counter, my other hand clutching my stomach. I couldn't believe how cruel they were, to there own daughter, that did everything for them.

No, I deserve it. In such a disappointment.

I quickly started preparing dinner for when he came back with my mother so I wouldn't have another round of beating. I mean I already had to sneak in after the concert sadly.

I set the dinner up on the table in covered dishes so it would stay warm and ran up stairs to get ready.

I showered, brushing the knots out of my long hair, washing my body, and shaving my legs quickly. As I got out I wrapped the towel around me, starting to pat myself dry as quickly as possible. This was one thing I didn't want to be late to.

I slipped on my black panties and batman bra (What?! I love batman) and started straightening my hair. Yes, in my underwear! When I was done, I looked up into the mirror and winced.

Ugh I was disgusting. Why haven't I just killed myself yet like Lila said. Everyone be better off.

I looked down at my thigh gap. Most would think it was to big but for me it was never big enough. I was aware my stomach was shallow and I was still getting used to seeing what Blare saw because before I saw fat not skinniness. Yet I still wasn't satisfied though I knew I was small.

Then there was the scars that ran a length of my legs, scattered on my ribs and stomach, and along my arms. For months I had been preparing for this concert so I had only made cuts on my arms so my legs and stomach were just scars and I'd promise I'd go clean for tonight but so far my mind wasn't looking so bright. Nasty words were swirling inside my head and I no longer could take it.

I pulled open the drawer of the sink and brought out my razor, smiling as I said hello to my friend.

I pressed it hard to my wrist, wanting to do damage to myself. I dragged it slowly across my skin to feel the pain soak in and let the adrenaline pump into my now leaking veins. I smiled leaning my head against the wall, staring down at my bloody wrist. It felt to good to feel bad right now. I sliced 6 more cuts up my arm to add to my lucky number 7. My arm was dripping blood as I carved into my precious skin.

The only thing that caused me to stop was Andy. I set the blade back in its original spot as tears slipped down my cheeks.

"Fuck. I didn't mean to", I whimpered to no one in general, feeling ashamed, biting onto my cold lip ring.

I shook my head, trying to straighten my self and started to clean my cuts. Thank god I was wearing something to cover the horrid beautiful marks on my skin. I wiped my tears and applied my black make-up, trying to be perfect, I mean I was going to see Andy.

After I quickly teased me hair, I went into my room that was connected to the bathroom and went through my new hot topic bags, searching for my outfit.

I brought it out smiling at its perfectness. http://ak1.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/cid/101721159/id/GouKoNU94xGsraGZzSGTQA/size/y.jpg
((outfit not my creation))
Blare could really pick them.

I fastened the belts and pulled on my glovelets, looking up into the mirror striking a pose.

"Wow", I mumbled. I actually looked good.

My cuts were wonderfully covered by the gloves but my other fading scars were slightly there. I quickly lathered cover up on them, making them almost disappear, hoping no one would notice them. Especially Andy.

"Okay, Phenix, you can do this" I said, encouraging myself.

I grabbed my tickets, phone, leather jacket and car keys, running out the back door.

After starting up the car I drove off to Blares house. I honked my horn and patiently waited for her outside.

Five minutes she came out wearing this.
http://ak2.polyvoreimg.com/cgi/img-set/cid/62853076/id/RrjjXSxMReCqgLnMIpF4qA/size/y.jpg
((Again not mine))

She sliding into the passenger seat of the car as I grinned.

"Bitch you r rocking", she winked, looking at my outfit.

"Andy is gonna wanna have that" she continues as I blushed terribly.

"You think?" I mumbled, looking at the road as I started to peel off.

"I know it" she beamed.

I shook my head driving as fast as I could to the park.

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A/n hey guys so that's the 3rd chapter and sorry it took a while but oh well enjoyed it I hope. please please please comment!!!