Where to start

a month later

A lot has happened since last August well it's September now obviously but my birthday is soon October 2nd !! I'm exited I'm Turing 17 so close to being a adult

   I still think about him a lot I always do actually but now I have some friends there is

- angel, a short girl with brown hair and dark eyes. She is really sweet but can be mean in 2.5 seconds

- Annie a tall girl with red hair and green eyes she is a bookwor and never talks to anyone besides us.

- Aidan his name is Aidan but he goes by AJ for short he's tall broad shoulders cute smile blue eyes and dark brown hair he's really protective over me kinda like a brother would be but also not me and him are closer than the girls

    Jake and melody his girlfriend have officially made there relationship public..i mean there perfect tho he's the basketball star and she's the dance leader  both fit and perfect.

  I can't help but watch u play the game sometimes everything works for you nothing ever goes wrong you like Ken and Barbie (Barbie  being melody) I mean why do i even care anyway.

  It seems like the things we want the most always tear us down? My grandma told me before she passed last March "stay strong and bold and fear will be scared of you itself"

  It's only now that I get what she means I can't be scared of losing anyone or fear will blind me and I won't see that I'm pushing everyone away right? But how do i stop when I've already been hurt before? How am I supposed to smile everyday when really I'm fighting back tears? Sure I can fake it but what is that doing to my heart?

    I seen you today in your cozy sweats and a t shirt you never have to look good to impress me. You had your arm around melody and her hand was on your thigh she laughed and u kissed her I saw u glance my way but I turn around and walk out before u can see how much u really hurt me.

  I call AJ
  *RING RING RING*
 
" hello" you say in your goofy tone

"Hey wanna come over" I ask

  "Sure, I'll be over in ten"

You hang up and I brush my hair and our on joggers before laying back down and going through Insta when u knock " come in!" I shout and stand up 

I run up to you and give u a huge hug wrapping my arms around your strong figure and slowly taking in your scent you smell like your house and peperments also a little sweat because u just got home from football

You wrap your arms around me and sit your chin on my head and slowly I let go and you smile and go sit on my bed and I think

  Why don't I like you? I mean your cute and funny and romantic and all I think about is someone I can't have but here u are and I'm so blinded I can't even see past my own reality?