His Secrets

Chapter 2

Thanks for all of the support! Keep commenting! I'm sorry again for taking a break from writing. I wasn't in a very good mental state, and I'm still not. I am better than what I was though.

It was a whole week before Luke could sneak back into Jai's room to "investigate". Beau had finally had enough of Jai pouting and dragged him off to the movies, giving Luke enough time to search his room again. Luke was worried, but not too worried yet. Jai was moody, yes, but he was probably fine. Jai was just a little overdramatic sometimes. At least, that's what Luke kept telling himself. In all honesty, he couldn't believe that his younger twin was depressed.

Luke opened the door to Jai's room quietly, although he knew that no one was home. His twin had always been timid and shy, but anymore he was short tempered and violent. Luke didn't really understand why it was happening, he just knew that Jai was so painfully different.

Jai's room was a total mess like usual when Luke walked in. Luke scrunched up his nose in disgust. He had always been the cleaner twin of the two of them. Luke glanced over at Jai's bed. It was a total mess like usual, but something seemed off about it. Luke got closer and decided to pull the blankets off of the bed. Jai's diary had been haphazardly hidden under them, as well as 4 older diaries.

Luke picked up a random one.

"No one really cares about me. I'm starting to realize that. Ariana called me today and told me she cheated on me. She said that all of the stuff I told her about made her want a man that didn't have baggage."

Luke stopped reading. This diary wasn't recent at all. This had happened years ago. How had he not noticed that Jai wasn't okay back then? Had his twin brother really not been okay for this long?

Luke realized with a heavy heart that yes Jai had not been okay for a long time. He had been worse than not okay and no one had noticed a thing. He felt like a horrible brother and an even worse twin.

Where has he been? Where was he when his twin started spiraling down into the ghost of a boy he once knew? Not there for him obviously.  Luke had been so busy with the Janoskians and doing whatever he wanted to do, that he hadn't been there for his twin brother. Instead he had cast him to the side like an old T-Shirt. That wasn't okay. At all. Mai was his twin brother and he had let him down more times than he could imagine. He felt like an awful person and an even worse brother.

Luke picked up another diary. He had to find out more. What had his twin had to deal with alone?

"Life is pretty much pointless at this point. I wake up and feel no motivation to get out of bed. Every day I force a smile on my face because I know that no one cares if I'm sad. No one gives a crap if I'm here or not. I go downstairs and no one even glances at me. Mum is too busy with my brothers to notice. And then my brothers are too caught up in each other and the Janoskians to care. You would think since Luke and I were twins than he would care more about me. But he doesn't. I'm the expendable twin."

Luke felt a tear slip out as he read that entry. He had left Jai all alone and he honestly hated himself for doing that. His brother didn't deserve that.

He put the diaries back where he had found them and walked over to Jai's mirror. He looked at his reflection. How could they be so similar in appearance, but be so far away from each other personality wise and emotionally?

Luke didn't understand. How could his twin have gotten this bad so fast? It didn't make sense to him.

///

"Hey Lukey!" The oldest brooks brother greeted his younger brother, barging into the younger boy's room uninvited.

"Beau..." Luke sighed, not in the mood to deal with his older brother.

"Aww that's so cute. You actually think you can get out of this!" Beau chirped. Luke's eye twitched in annoyance. He wasn't in the mood to deal with his older brother's antics. 

"What do you want Beau!" Luke finally yelled.

"Calm down Lukey. I was just wondering if you've seen Jai. He ditched me at the movies and I haven't seen him since. It's getting late and I'm worried."

Luke's eyes widened. What if Jai had come home and found him reading his diaries? Had he ran away? Was he hurt?

Luke just didn't know.