Out of Breath // pjm.

XXXIV / Idiot

I struggled to get my keys out of my bag as I balanced a million things in my arms before entering my home.

"Shit," I cursed under my breath as I attempted, once, again, to pull out my keys and open the door.

Before I could drop all the bags that were in my hand, the door swung open and there stood Park Jimin, welcoming me into my own house.

"Jimin?" I looked at him, "what are you doing here?"

"Making sure you eat two meals a day," he chuckled, taking the bags from my hand and holding the front door open for me.

"I thought you weren't going to be using my keys anymore," I said and rolled my eyes, slipping out of my shoes.

"Yeah, that was before you fell asleep sobbing in my arms," he said and took my hand in his.

Jimin led me to the kitchen table where there was a spread of authentic Korean food.

I sat as he pulled back a chair with an amused-impressed look on my face.

"Stupid question but... did you make this?" I looked but at him, amused.

He pursed his lips at me.

"Jin hyung made some of it. And the rest is takeout," he answered and sat by me.

I giggled at the gesture and was about to dive in when my phone rang.

'Zee'

Jimin glanced at my phone, then at me.

"Can you ignore it?"

"Best not to," I responded and answered the call, rising up and walking away.

The conversation with my sister consisted of her wanting to do a cross-city skype call with the family lawyer to sort out some things that my father put in his will. As always, she thought he was being overly generous with me. She wasn't wrong. With a thumping heart, I agreed to do the call and see her sometime soon, my mood instantly dropping.

I returned to my seat and Jimin looked at me expectantly.

"Sorry, I don't think I can eat much."

"What happened? What did she want?" he inquired.

"Nothing. She's being too much... as usual," I said and rose again, pacing.

Jimin stayed behind me. He knew how it was with Zee.

"Let's go for a drive. Clear your mind. We'll come back and eat," he said, encouraging me to let it go.

"I'm sorry, you did so much and I-"

"It's alright," he said and patted my head, "I'll get the keys."

I huffed and sat down again, guzzling down some water as I saw him approach.

"Don't start getting all dressed up or I'll leave you," Jimin giggled as he hopped over to me and I looked at him longingly.

"No, you won't," I said and stood up, "you won't."

As much as I've wished you would sometimes.

He grabbed my arm and stopped me as I made for my bedroom.

"What do you mean?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"I think you know," I admitted and gulped.

"Why don't you say it then?" he whispered a moment later, urging me to say the words we had both been avoiding for so long.

"You know I can't do that..." I whispered and looked away, wanting to chicken out. Yet again.

"Why not?" he said and stepped closer to me, invading all my personal space.

I sighed.

"I'd be an idiot to fall for you, Jimin."

"Then do it. Be an idiot," he said, hooking a finger under my chin and making me look into his eyes.

My heart was leaping out of my chest.

"Stop this," I shook my head, "I'm trying so hard. I'm trying so hard to be in control."

"No, you're trying hard to give yourself the illusion that you're in control. It's different," he said, his hand sliding down my arm to hold mine.

"Then let me," I whispered, looking at up at him.

I'm spent.

"How? How can I do that? When I can see everything... how do I let you cover your eyes?" I could feel his warm breath on my forehead as he spoke.

"You make it so hard, Jimin," I admitted, having depleted my resolve, "you make breathing so hard for me."

"Come here," he said and wrapped his hands around my waist, leaving no space in between us.

"Open your eyes, Tara, for my sake" he whispered along my skin, "I'm a selfish man and I can't bear to be alone in this. Not anymore. I can't let you be trapped in your own head."

"Kiss me," I looked up at him and demanded.

"What?" he looked at me, quizzically, but driven.

"Do it. Kiss me. Set me free."

He didn't have to be told twice as he lowered his head to mine, his mouth embracing mine and urging me to forget everything that was wrong with my world.

One of his hands slid up to my back as he pressed me flush against him, my hands sliding into his hair as our tongues danced in tandem. I was pained and hungry for him, months of pent up desire seeping through my very being.

Jimin's other hand slid down to my thigh as he walked forward into me, our writhing bodies inching closer to the wall by my bedroom. His lips were just the right amount of rough on mine, my own not caring about how it may look anymore.

My back hit the wall with a soft thud and he kept going, as though his body was going to blend into mine. I was pushed up against the wall, my hair a wild mess as he pressed wet kisses down my throat. Our bodies communicated with each other far better than our mouths did, as my legs hooked around his waist the instant his second hand cupped my thigh. He pushed up against me as he pulled off his own sweater, then continuing to run his mouth down my front as he unbuttoned my fine silk shirt. I gasped at the intensity of how he felt against me. My body had tried to forget.

Clothes fell off and we didn't care to move elsewhere, all surroundings and inhibitions forgotten in that moment.

My eyes fluttered shut as his hands ran down my body hungrily and his mouth whispered promises to my skin it would forever remember.

This is it, I thought, my back arching off the wall.

There's no going back now.