You Kept The Necklace

It's About Who You Love

The following morning Kara had made her way into Catco still reeling from the events of yesterday.

Once Mon-El had dragged Imra- because that's her name, Imra out of the tank, they'd secured her in the medical facility at the DEO.

Eventually upon finding out exactly what she meant to him Kara went into shock- neither person was capable of looking to each other.

The tension was glaringly obvious and most assumed it was due to their past history. It was just a pair of guilty superheroes that were the ones that really knew the truth- understanding exactly why it had been so so awkward.

And painful. That too.

Supergirl proceeded to retreat, returning home and subsequently breaking down, Kara hadn't muttered a word to him since, far too rage filled and raw to have any real sense of clarity for healthy communication.

Plus she was entirely unsure if she were even capable of asking the big gut wrenching questions, the ones she so desperately needed answers for. She'd stayed mute.

The way he'd dismissed her- horrid after she'd given herself over to him so wholly and the way he'd betrayed her trust like that so easily... plus what about Imra, she has thoughts and feelings too right?

She couldn't think about it.

So here she was.... Catco, generic routine of it all helping to both dampen and quell the raging desperation sparking up inside. The loss and loneliness only amplified by the bitter resentment and mortification... and the pining.

Of course the pining.

Why was she still pining for that bastard after this?!

Just stop it Kara.

With each blink- the fresh memory she had of him holding her down as she ground onto his lap only angered her further, her stomach agonisingly twisting at the thought- sickened and nauseated at the fact he'd cheated,

That he'd made her an adulterer.

Growling she furiously gathered up papers from her desk proceeding to slam them around when she couldn't find exactly what she was looking for.

Where in Rao's name did I put my pen?!

arrghhhh... flinging every single thing she had across the small box office attempting to look for what she'd lost, [her dignity] she was showered by a white forest of pages from freshly cut trees, surrounding her in a flurry of commotion.

Time stilled as she just stared blankly as each one fluttered past in a beautifully destructive symphony, flaunting their shredded edges and ripped pieces that could only resemble her heart- it was a testament telling her that the organ may as well just be paper mache itself.

Sighing she gave up- instead searching for a place she could calm herself. Wanting to steady the flow of indecent thoughts and tame her evident serial killer vibes.

The office just wouldn't do- there were too many memories of their past exploration, full of snapshots of two lovers in their prime, lust, need and salacious fervour overpowering any of their rationale.. Catco probably wasn't the best idea.

Scrambling into the ladies bathroom, her back hit the door as she fell to her knees. Tears of anguish flooding her features as she cried and cried and cried at what they'd done.

She wasn't a good person. She had fucked a married man.

Internally ranting- swirling in self loathing, What would my mother think of me if she could see me now? A traitor to the House of El pondering to my own reckless desires and full of wicked depravity, enough to break up a marriage, a union under Rao's eternal grace.. what must RAO too think of me?!

Howling soon her throat was parched, her tears had finally dried and she was contemplating how it would be possible to keep on existing after feeling all of him again, after all of this time, she'd barely gotten through the one loss... but never feeling his hands on her... Kara couldn't picture that again, not now.

Not again.

**

Breaking through the whooshing silence a knock sounded on the other side of the door. Croaking, she groaned out in a flurry "Just a minute" splashing ice cold water and trying to hide the track marks that now lined red on burgundy cheeks.

Wincing at her reflection, tucking a loose strand of hair back into her adorkable pony tail and she arrogantly choose to ignore the bloodshot eyes as she opened the pristine white door.

On the other side, arms crossed with a concerned gleam to her gaze Cat stood and sympathetically she whispered "Come over to the balcony- I think we should talk" before striding off in her classic Gucci ensemble finished off with her resound Louboutin heels. Kara stood dazed watching her go, unnerved but saddened enough to do nothing but anxiously follow. Keeping her head down, she was surprised to learn that Cat had cleared the floor, only the most important staff remained to make certain Catco never stalled.

Soon surpassing the entrance to the balcony, she felt a sturdy hand guide her to the railing and thrust into her palm two fingers of bourbon. "I assumed you could use that." Kara just nodded slamming it back with one gulp, relishing the burn- the pain and bitter aftertaste, it may not work on her but she could use it to wash away any lasting lingering slivers of him, to wash away their sins.

Taking a moment Kara steadied herself, listening to the breeze, enveloped in it's waves of sedation as she separated it from the ruckus and noise of the city. It was energetic, intoxicating with the rush of millions, enchanting too, spirited but desolate.. a dichotomy.

Cat curled her lips around her glass, taking a sip before continuing "So many sounds I can't begin to imagine what you hear or what your choosing to focus on at the present moment."

The closest they'd come acknowledging the unspeakable and unspoken truth.

"Is it the materialistic? I doubt that- that you'd be interested in the fashionistas out on the prowl, but perhaps the family two doors down playing softball with their grand kids or is it nature and the feel of the earths rotation, the skies penchant for absolute change, or are you gazing at the resound stagnation of all the lead coating the atmosphere?"

Kara winced, Cats eyes flickered in recognition breathing out "so many choices... experiences... stories... will you ever tell me yours Kara?"

Kara smiled halfheartedly- biting at the edge of her mouth before cocking her head upwards in hushed questioning "What am I listening too right now?" Turning back to the city, an omission "I'm listening to the man propose to his girlfriend three miles over, I'm hearing another young couple as they stumble through their apartment about to make love for the first time, I'm hearing how everyone gets to be happy... to be free to just... be apart from me. My mother made sure of that when she sent me here and the one time I thought-I thought I could have it all, with someone like me... who understood I-" Tears brimming, her lip quivered as she gripped the barrier, trying and failing to feel any sturdier and to not feel like the world had been stripped apart from right underneath her two alien feet.

"He hurt you didn't he.." it wasn't a question. Kara nodded voice trembling "I-I thought he was dead..."

Cat frowned placing a palm over hers squeezing, pushing her to continue...

"But but he's back and I-" Kara shook her head, holding her breath as she bit the bullet..

"We were... intimate. I-I saw him on that ship, I thought he was dead... we were intimate and now it turns out he's got a wife and I-"

Holding her head in her hands Kara sobbed, as Cat grabbed hold of her, cradled her, allowing her to pour through her grief in absolute safety.