Heart-Shaped Wreckage

Chapter 7

The next day I wake up to the expected calls and texts from Parker, I just turn off my phone taking Mark's advice to just ignore it. I walk out into the kitchen to see Kenna staring into her coffee cup, "Didn't get much sleep?" I ask pouring myself a cup of coffee. She nods, "Mark and I were up most of the night, talking about everything." She stirs her cup, watching the cream swirl into the dark liquid, she sighs heavily, and this catches me by surprise. "I thought the both of you were okay with everything?" I asked worried that they would tell Parker. She looks up at me, "We are and we will keep this secret for you, but Em think about Ryder." I just shake my head not wanting to repeat the same conversation I had with my brother the night before, "I am thinking about him, that's why I'm doing this." I state urgently. "Then what about you? You love him, you always have." She says, abandoning her cup on the counter as she walks over to me. Tears burn the back of my eyes begging to be released, " It's not about what I want, and it never has been." I look away as I feel the tears start to run down my face. I can't cry about this anymore, it's only making it worse. "Right, so you just expect me to tell Parker so he can say ' That's great Emelyn, but I have to get back to work'?" I'm now angry,and I don't know if I'm angry at myself, Parker, or Kenna at this point. I didn't give her time to respond, I took off toward the bathroom, locking the door and starting the shower, so that I can't hear Kenna outside the door, I know that I shouldn't have reacted that way towards her, I was just so upset that everyone was telling me what I should do with my son. I knew I had to do what was best for him, and that was to let Parker have his career, and I would deal with this on my own. I slowly got into the shower and let my self cry, knowing that no one could hear me. I just laid there on the shower floor, curled up into a ball. It felt like hours before someone turned off the water, I felt myself being wrapped in a towel and then someone was holding me, I looked up and saw that it was Parker. I looked confused for a moment, but was too exhausted to try to fight it. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mark and Kenna watching, but I just let my self be held by him, being comforted by his arms around me, and I just sobbed. I heard Parker ask what happened over my muffled sobs, I didn't hear a response, as I felt Parker lift me into his arms. He laid me in my bed and just laid there with me until I had calmed down. I rolled over and was met with his concerned eyes,and I knew I owed him an explanation, I just wasn't sure if I was ready to give him one. " I know you want to know what's going on, but can we just not talk about it right now?" He looked at me. "When Kenna called me, I just came right over." "Thank you." I didn't have the energy to be mad at Kenna right now, I just snuggled closer to Parker and enjoyed being in his arms. I haven't allowed myself to be this comfortable with anyone, let alone Parker in a long time. I laid there, with him until I fell asleep, a feeling of being home in his arms washing over me, comforting me.