Not Like Your Demons

Chapter 11

The lunch is just as awkward near its end as when Camila first arrived. Lauren's sad mood seems to have persisted, broken only by Dinah's occasional cute comment, obviously meant to cheer her up.

However, even that - which served as Camila's temporary leeway - ended soon as well, when Normani arrived and called Dinah to Britney's office. Apparently, Dinah was needed by their coach for some unknown reason.

It's only the two of them again now. Camila taps her fingers on the table as she stealthily sneaks a few glances at Lauren, who is dipping a fry in ketchup. Even when eating, she looks sweet and shy and adorable, Camila thinks. Lauren purses her lips before taking a bite, some of the ketchup remaining on her lip. She licks them shyly when she notices Camila staring at them.

The innocent action - too innocent - is making Camila feel something she can't quite put into words.

Momentarily distracted by that, Camila inhales deeply and takes a bite off her own fry.

OK, what the heck was that?

The more pressing question at the moment, however, is 'What should I say now,' and so she foregoes the first question. For now, at least.

Then, suddenly, like she's in some movie, she hears Alejandro's voice in her head.

She'll probably have a hard time believing you really want to be friends with her, but just be sincere. She'll feel it.

Inspired by that, she is about to tell Lauren that she thinks she's cute, but almost immediately decides that it would be devastatingly awkward. Sighing inwardly, she opts to let the rest of the meal pass in silence instead. It might be too early for blurting ridiculous things like that.

Well, silence is awkward too, but she figures it's better than freaking Lauren out and completely messing up the lunch.

Even after they finish eating, the awkward silence persists. Camila watches as Lauren starts to gather her things and makes her move. She's vowed to protect this girl and she's sticking with it. This is the first and perhaps the biggest step. From now on, as much as can, she won't let Lauren be alone at school, no matter the cost.

"I'll walk with you," Camila says, standing up swiftly when she sees Lauren start to stand. Lauren glances at her, looking confused. "Your room is along the way to mine so...yeah," Camila ends clumsily.

"You know where my next class is?"

Oops. Now that I think of it, no, I don't. Nice thinking, Camila.

"I mean it must be on the way to mine. Everything's on the way to, uhm, everything in this school," she says with a little wince that she hopes goes unnoticed.

Yeah, Cabello. That was smooth.

With the puzzled look Lauren's giving her, she's not so sure Lauren didn't notice, though.

For a while, Lauren's face turns even more confused, but then she bites her lip, stares down at her shoes and whispers, "It's OK, Camila. I don't want your f-friends to think..."

"I don't care about them," Camila blurts out before Lauren can finish the sentence. She knows it would end with Lauren belittling herself once more and that's the last thing she wants. "They're...they're not my friends - at least not my real ones."

"I'm sure they like you. You're really nice," Lauren says with a shy smile.

Camila feels her heart sink. From what, she doesn't know. Guilt, most probably. Self-hatred and knowing that she's undeserving, too. After all Camila's done to her, Lauren still thinks she's nice. It would be easy to say that Lauren's just naïve - but something inside her tells her otherwise. More than Lauren's naivety, it's her pureness of heart that allows her to see only the best in people, and that's what kills Camila the most.