distance ➼ ajm [in editing]

7

"I was made for loving you"

AJ

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Alex and I walk around the grove aimlessly, the lamps were lit up giving everything a warm glow as the sunset. We had finished shopping and were just walking around wasting time, hanging out which we hadn't done in a while.
"Wanna grab a bite to eat?" Alex asks pointing to a Chipotle, "Yeah," I reply.

We order our food before taking a seat outside since it was a nice night. Alex takes a bite of his burrito. I scroll through my phone while eating my plate. We talk about upcoming events for him and his acting career and me, and my singing career, and of course him and Bailey.

"Man, we haven't had Chipotle in a while," Alex says while taking the last bite of his burrito.

"Yeah," I laugh, "Man, the last time I had this we were..." I trail off remembering the last time we had it.

"We were with her." I say after a moment, remembering we had a double date with Bailey and him here just a few weeks ago, "Oh shit. I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring it up." he explains quickly.

 "Nah it's fine," I say plastering a fake smile on my face. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asks, I hesitate before opening my mouth, "I thought I was made for her ya know? And her me. Like you know what I mean. I was in love." I said smiling slightly. "and for it to just end in a heartbeat... It sucks." I say

 "It's cool. I'm over it," I add more good measure. "You don't have to pretend that you aren't hurt," Alex says quietly, "I'm fine, Alex," I say trying to keep my cool.

"You can't even say her name. You are still upset, AJ. I don't know why you try and hide it, everyone can see you are still hurting." he says. "You loved her," he adds following me to the door.

"Yeah, I loved her. Past tense." I snap. "I'm fine. End of conversation." I say sharply. We both exit the restaurant and continue walking. We walk in silence until I finally speak up. 

 I sigh, "I'm sorry man, I've just been stressed lately. Music and stuff ya know." I say giving him a weak smile. He nods, "I get it. It's fine." Alex checks his phone, "I have to go. I promised Bailey I'd see her before her flight later tonight," he says. 

I nod. "Yeah. Yeah. I should get going too. Tell her I said hey." He smiles. "Will do,"

I nod before going to walk in the opposite direction near where my uber would be waiting. "Hey AJ?" Alex calls, I turn around and stop, "You should visit her. Maybe it would give you some closure." I nod at his advice. "Maybe," I reply before walking off to meet my uber and head home. 

I rest my head against the window. Thinking about my previous words. 

"I thought I was made for her ya know? And her me. Like you know what I mean. I was in love." I said smiling slightly. "and for it to just end in a heartbeat... It sucks." I say

I stare at the passing scenery, staring out the window, I put my headphones on and open up the playlist she had made for me, that reminded me of any memories we had made. I close my eyes. 

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"AJ!" she scolds jokingly because I had thrown flour on her while baking cookies. She reaches for an egg, I notice this and turn to run, only for me to slip on the spilled flour, she takes the opportunity to smash the egg in my hair. I laugh and pull her down with me, shaking my head so the slimy raw egg dropped on to her as well. "NO!" she laughs trying to pull out of my hold. 

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"I dunno, mom. We haven't said 'I love you' to each other yet" she whispers softly into her phone, thinking I was asleep, really I woke up upon finding her not in the bed with me and now was in the doorway listening to her phone call. "There's something about him, I know we are young and we haven't been together for a long time. But there's something about him... I don't know..." she pauses I worriedly listen on, waiting for her to continue, "He's moving so fast, the other day at the bond fire, he thought I was already asleep, and he-he told me that he was falling love with me. But he doesn't know I heard him. I'm scared," My heart drops at her words, she probably thinks I'm moving too fast. "I'm scared because... because I think I'm falling for him," as soon as she uttered those words, my heart stopped, I do a little happy dance, part of me wanted to go and hug her, confess my love for her. 

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The uber driver announces we were there and I thank him and get out of the car. I think about her as I make my way up to our- my apartment. I truly believed I was made for loving her. 

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a/n: shawn's two new songs 'In my Blood' and 'Lost in Japan' are bops, and such amazing vibes. IMB is such a relatable song, and LIJ is a dancing disco vibe to it. I love it.

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