Absence of Heat

Chapter Twenty-Three: "Go After Her"

Chapter Twenty-Three

"You are the breath that cannot fill my lungs. You are the tastes that burn on my tongue. You are the nails bitten down to the quick. You are the skin that never got to be thick. You are the hair pulled out by the handfuls. You are all the problems I could never handle." ~K.P.K

*Caleb's P.O.V.*

I set the phone down slowly on the table and got up from the couch and started to head towards my room. I could hear Naomi's confused and worried voice, but I didn't care enough to listen. I didn't care enough for anything. I walked into my room and locked the door behind me. I laid on my bed for what seemed like an eternity full of numbness. I think after an hour of hiding in my bedroom Naomi asked to come in. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to open my mouth, because I knew if I did, everything I've tried to hold inside will start to pour out and I don't want to trouble my sister. She's too pure to be hear me, or even be near me.

After another hour passed by, Naomi came again. "Can I come in Caleb?" She asked, while knocking gently on the door.

I didn't reply, but I heard the door open and I felt her sit on the bed next to me. "You're still the same person as you were ten years ago Caleb," She chuckled. "The key to your door was above the door frame. That's exactly what you did when you were twelve. Of course I had to get a chair, because we all know that I'm way too short for that."

I turn to look at her. Her blonde hair was all over the place. I immediately felt terrible. Whenever Naomi is worried or nervous, she messes up her hair. Her big blue eyes were full of concern. "If only we could go back ten years," I started. "Jacob would still be alive. I could have made sure that I wasn't so messed up. I could have-. I just could have done a lot."

"Caleb, are you okay?" She asked with concern.

"I don't think I am Naomi." I replied, while getting up to sit beside her.

"But why? She got out didn't she?"

"Yeah she did."

"So she's coming back then! You should be excited and throwing her a 'Welcome Back' party instead of moping around."

"Arizona isn't coming back."

Naomi's face grew pale and grave. "She- she isn't dead right?

"No Naomi, I think if she was dead, I'd be in less pain. Arizona, well she just decided not to come back. She just doesn't want me anymore. Doesn't love me anymore." I said, my voice emotionless.

"That's bullshit and you know it." She yells, surprising me.

"Naomi-"

"No. You listen here. Arizona loves you. I've never seen her love anyone more than she loves you. Probably because I didn't know her before you, but that's besides the point. She's lying when she said she doesn't love you. I bet she's just as heartbroken as you are, if not more. There must obviously be a reason of why she told you that."

"Yes the reason being that she hates me. I screwed up. God, I even tried to kill her right when we first met."

"You and her both know that was a mistake."

"But not easily forgotten. She probably hated me so much, she decided to make herself a necessity in my life just so she could leave me."

Then Naomi gave me a scowl. She raised her hand and slapped me right in the face. "My Neptune! Get your shit together Caleb! Arizona never would have done that to you. She opened up and told you everything about her way before you did. She stood in front of a crowd that hated her just for you. Everything she did was for you. Don't you see? So get your fucking shit together Caleb." She yelled in a menacing tone.

And with that she left the room, slamming the door behind her. I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes.

~~~~

It's been three days since Naomi blew up at me. She's tried to talk to me countless times after it, but I don't respond. I haven't responded to anyone. They leave more food at the door, but I just pick at it. It seems that the moment Arizona said she wasn't coming back, I lost my appetite. I've tried contacting her every single hour. She hasn't answered. I'm calling a motel repeatedly in hopes that she'll answer. If she's even there. If that's not the definition of desperate, I don't know what is. The Sunny-Side Motel's phone number will be forever engraved in my head now.

A knock at the door interrupted my train of thought.

"Go away Naomi." I said, my voice raspy.

"I'm not Naomi," said a feminine voice. Well it's definitely not Luke then. "and I'm not taking no for an answer. I will stay by this door and yodel until you let me in and trust me, I'm not a good yodeler."

"Jesus Christ, fine I'll open the door." I said, getting up from the bed and heading towards the door.

I opened it and I realized the person was Selene. She smirked and walked into the room, bouncing.

"Naomi now owes me ten bucks." She said in a happy tone. "Oh and I don't know how to yodel, I'd probably would've kicked the door open instead, but yodeling sounded more drastic."

"So what do you want?" I said, still standing by the door.

"I came here to listen."

"Listen?"

"Yes listen. You seem like you have a lot on your mind."

"You don't have to be my therapist you know."

"I'm trying to be your friend, not your therapist."

"But why?"

"Because I know exactly what you're going through. I've been through it too."

"Your mate said she didn't love you and ran away?" I questioned.

"My brother."

I sigh and sit on the bed next to her. "Go ahead and talk. I really don't feel like talking."

"When I was fourteen, my older brother ran away. He said he couldn't take living with my parents anymore. Sure they were quite distant, but they loved him. When he ran away, my brother killed himself. In his note, he said that if someone cared enough to come and make him come back, he wouldn't have killed himself. I wanted to come. I wanted to come and take him home, but my parents wouldn't let me. They said he would come back, that we didn't have to worry about it. He never did and I regret not coming after him so much. He would still be alive if I just stood up to my parents and told them that we should worry and that we should go after him. And now I see you in same exact position I was in seven years ago and I am not going to let you make the same mistakes I did. She's still alive Caleb, cherish that."

"I'm sorry that ever happened to you Selene."

"Please don't say sorry. It just makes it worse."

"I say the same exact thing," I chuckle. "I'm such a hypocrite."

"So what are you going to do Caleb?" Selene asks, turning to me.

"I'm going to go to Arizona."

"And now Naomi owes me twenty bucks." She says as she got up. She turns and looks at me before leaving the room. "Good luck Caleb."

"Thanks I think I'll need it." I said as I got up to get my coat.

~~~~

Sorry it took so long! I just have trouble writing Caleb's POV. I'm going to try something new Vote Goal: 535 votes on the whole story. So don't forget to vote! Thank you so much for reading this! I love all you guys!