Absence of Heat

Chapter Twenty-Four: "I Love You."

Chapter Twenty-Four

        "I've been thinking of you, but I'm still alone. I don't know where you are, but I want to come home. The attic in my head lately has been feeling so haunted. Please leave the front door unlocked if I am still wanted." ~K.P.K

*Arizona P.O.V.

         After I hanged up with Caleb, and after I started to sob uncontrollably and after I took a shower, trying to wash away everything that happened to me, the motel lady came into the room. She came in with a pile of clothes that were boy's and a first aid kit equipped to the maximum capacity of bandages and then proceeded to leave the room quickly, leaving me confused. I didn't question it much, because the clothes I owned were ripped, bloody, and soiled. And also, because my sock wasn't working out so well as a bandage.

 I quickly changed into the clothes and changed the bandage that the motel lady gave me. When I sat down on my bed, I accidentally sat on John's wallet. "Well there's not a better time to look through a dead man's wallet than now." I thought to myself.

         I open the wallet and my jaw almost dropped to the ground. He was loaded. There was at least two thousand dollars just in his wallet. Who carries around this much money in their wallet? I take out the money and set it down on the nightstand next to my bed to remind myself that I need to pay the hotel lady. I can't just stay here for free.

         John also has a couple of credit cards, his license, and a couple of receipts, but what really catches my eyes are the photos in his wallet. There's a picture of him and his deceased mate, Ariel. We looked very similar to each other, or at least we used to. Back when I had long blonde hair and innocent blue eyes. In the picture, John and Ariel were teenagers. John was carrying Ariel bridal style and Ariel was throwing her head back laughing, her long blonde hair cascading down, almost touching the ground. He looked at her with such adoration. It's probably my first time seeing John actually happy. I quickly put the picture back in his wallet. I don't want to see him anymore. There are three other pictures that are of Ariel in his wallet and just Ariel luckily. But there's one picture that isn't of Ariel. It's a picture of me when I was thirteen. It was originally from a family photo, but John cut out everyone.

         Looking at this picture, tears start to form in my eyes. This was before everything went downhill. Autumn was still alive, my parents never thought of abusing me, John never saw me as a romantic interest, Grayson was still alive, I hadn't killed anyone yet. I was happy. My hair was long and a bright blonde hair color. Nothing like it is now, a short, light brown mess. My eyes were blue and innocent. Innocent. Something I haven't experienced in a while. I'm pretty much a washed down version of what I was before. I had everything and I've lost everything.

         I put the photo back in John's wallet and I set it down on the nightstand next to the bed. I turned the lights off and crawled under the covers. Hugging a pillow that use to be Caleb. the only thing I knew was that pillow would be tear-stained tomorrow. That was the first day.

~~~~

         I woke up on the second day by the motel lady woke me up by knocking on the door and as I guessed, my pillow was extremely tear-stained. I look at the pillow once more, wishing it was Caleb and then got up to answer the door.

        "I lived without Caleb once, I can do it again." I thought to myself while going to the door.  "That's because you didn't know who he was."

 I opened the door and the motel lady eyes widened.

        

        "You look, um- better than last time." She said, examining me up and down.